|THE MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline .....
If you are obsessive-compulsive , please press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transfered
to the any extra terestial life forms
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a "small" voice
will tell you what number to press
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number
you press, no one will answer
If you have a nervous disorder, please fiddle with the *key
until a representative comes on the line
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, addresss,
phone number, date of birth and mother maiden's name
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully
If you have a bipolar disorder, please leave message afer the
bleep, before the bleep, or after the bleep. PLease wait for
If you have short term memory, press 9.If you have short term
memory, press 9.If you have short term memory, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up now. All our operator
are too busy to talk to you.
Contributed by Biswa Elangbam