Hope it won't be the last day
- Part 2 -
Louriyam Bebica *
:: Pix - Louriyam Bebica
"Humm." He was taking only a pinch of the curry. It was not bcoz he doesn't like the curry. It was bcoz he already had the habit of eating in small quantity. That makes me feel the pain again. He is really a pakhang now not a child. He can face any painful situation much better than I do. I spend the money mom gave me for my flight ticket (for my entrance ). I know that mom won't give me the money again but I didn't think twice before I spend. I thought it was ok ,when time comes ways also will come.
Mom intensely didn't give me the money despite knowing the fact that I 'd to travel from Imphal to Jiri, Jiri to Silchar through Meghalaya to reach Guwahati, then Guwahati to Tezpur. During the journey she keeps on calling me to ask if it was horrible and tiresome.
"No mamaa .It's too good, 'm enjoying the scenery. It's beautiful." Actually my backbone was breaking .
Not only my mom but almost everyone in my relatives gave me this dialogue "since you are born as a woman ,giving birth and becoming a mother is the primary duty you 've to do. So you need to get married before its late" . They say that 'm crazy when I don't agree on their saying. How can you tag the title of 'motherhood 'to only those women who can bear the child?
For me it's a feeling that connect two rivers of emotion, mine and the baby. They are the babies who are thrown by their own parents. how can you say that the woman who can abandon her child is a mother only bcoz she carried the child in her womb. Giving birth only is not enough to tag the price of motherhood. I don't carry them in my womb but they are on my mind and heart. Its more than enough for me to love them.
A day before I left for my hostel, I went to meet them. As usual ,all of them ran to me for putting up their own complains. Nganba was showing off his new sunglass to me that he made with wire . Whenever 'm there, it's like we are in some parliament session . No listeners, all are speakers haha. I love watching them doing that. When I told them 'm leaving their reaction was normal as they knew I travel lots.
"Ok then you come after one week"
"Ah, che got to say something .I won't be meeting you guys at least for 7/8months or a year".
"What? No no its too long" Rojenchui responded shaking his head.
"By then my hair will be long". My tiny princess gave me another reaction. I know none of them will be happy .Bcoz 'm the box where they put all their complains . I can hardly do anything for them yet 'm the one where they pour out their thoughts, 'm the context where their freedom can explore.
No doubt career is important but is everything in life? Why 'm I going? I 've seen so many people who talk proudly of their children "my first son is in U.S. second is in Delhi, my daughter got married to a non Manipuri got settle at Tamilnadu bla bla".
When their health and age allow them they can travel to be with their love ones. When they are old and weak, they felt left out with pain. They says it's for good,I don't know where is the good thing here. It's fair to explore vast world for heavy knowledge but dumping the hand that allow them to experience that world in their need is not fair.
The rest of them were either on my lap or left and right side of my arms except, Arbin. He was away from me as he was new to our family. I force him to sit on my lap and ask him to tell me what he did. There began our conversation, after some time he also began to merge into our group, ministers of our parliament session ha-ha.
Something that I felt into my heart on that day was when Sanju (the rest of the kids called him Sanju supari) was so protective about his younger sister Thoibi. Whenever other kids try to play prang on her, he will stand in front and warn them. He is just a boy of 7/8years old.
He knew that the other boys are bigger and stronger to him yet he stood in between bcoz he loves and care about his sister. This small boy knew the value of love and responsibilities . How we grown up people don't know? How can you dumb your own kid just for your own satisfaction. Why can't they be a part of your life ,no matters how tough it is?
'M not gonna see them for months. I don't know what this life will led me to . YET I still hope someone in my place will see them and won't make them feel their che's absence . Bcoz there must be many chiche and dada who will love them.
Hope it won't be the last day for them to feel "the love of being love by someone".
* Louriyam Bebica wrote this article for e-pao.net
The writer is a Ph.D. student at Tezpur University, Assam and can be contacted at bebicalouriyam708(at)gmail(dot)com
This article was posted on February 10, 2013
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