TODAY -

The product of an estranged family as opposed to that of a normal one: A brief sociological take

Rajkumar Panthoiren *



Most of the children born and brought up in structurally and functionally faulty families normally end up abnormal vis-à-vis the social equations, the imposed anomaly lasting throughout their lives. What is then the optimum structure of a normal family in social terms? That family which functions in tandem with generally espoused internal as well as external ‘earned-turned-ascribed’ social image in whole or in major parts is a normal family.

Also by family, as in the preceding sentence, it is implied the centre of exercise of power due to the fact that a family’s social responsibility of upholding its lasting, all-pervading image is on the power-holders, i.e. the head(s) of the family. Such a family possesses a fixed, exclusive geographical boundary (owned or rented residential property) denoting an independent existence and also, it has, more importantly, as its backbone a strong and deterring while at the same time not dauntingly or crassly repulsive emotional boundary.

This family partakes without fail in the socio-religious gatherings and related cultural congregations that take place in the community. This projects a sphere of in-group solidarity and influence in the sense of reaffirming the capability of the family to uphold its validity in the community. The participation bit is a proof of its ability to hold fruitful social interactions with fellow citizens, which may or may not carry any substantial meaning for intellectual growth.

The fruitful nature only qualifies as something that gives fuel for the extension of future interactions with the major purpose of “maintaining” the corpus of social relationships already established; small talks or an intensive emotional or intellectual exchange is included under the purview of fruitful. Another distinct feature is that such a family has a very smooth intra-unit communication of likes, dislikes, avoidance and acceptance principles in relation to both internal and external relational entities, common/uniform familial norms of daily usage which are mostly implied, etc.

The children brought up and conditioned in the environment of such a family matures early on and learns to deal with known and unknown exigencies, and gets along well with the other normal population of the community and also, beyond the familiar exposure of known contexts. This in itself rules out the development of conflict-seeking and building dispositions which are most commonly found in children from conflicted/abnormal families.

By abnormal, it is defined that any family which has failed to produce normal children capable of earning ready social acceptance in and beyond the community almost wholly due to irreversible faults in the power-holders of the family. In such a family, there will be utter failure of intra-unit communication, verbal as well as non-verbal, the moral fibre is shared but not prominently defined, and there is disconnect in the tussle between the inner and the outer self of the members as a result of suppression of one of them or both.

Expressiveness is found highly wanting. There is one-way interaction at the most, thus leaving the young, vulnerable voices of the family under wraps resulting in a cycle of reinforcement being ensured. There is also a wanton lack of positive validation and expressive, intimate critiquing amongst the members. That is why, such families fail to find the “warmth” and “glow” required to hold together the individual strands cohesively.

In such a conflict laden environment, the members naturally develop a negative, opposing tendency leading to conflict-seeking, building and identification disposition instead of diplomatic and practical tact. This inadvertently leads to the children from such families getting isolated socially and emotionally from the mainstream thus leading to the formation of strong opinions on most matters as a defence mechanism, even nearing the brinks of radicalism in several cases.

On the other hand, the products of traumatic and dysfunctional families hinge on systematic de-radicalization of the previously held abnormalities to even resemble a faint shade of healing. But for it to happen, several concurring factors are needed which often do not come to be due to lacks in professional facilitative interventions and general consciousness of the more often than not imposed anomaly. Most observers resort to judgemental victim-blaming rather than empathetic consideration, thus further aggravating the problem.

But the big question here is: who do we need more? The ones who feed on conflict and in the process, succeed to highlight and mitigate the grave injustices of the present world as a result of their incessant drive for their own conflict resolution; or, the ones who have been so well brought up that they turn their heads around every time a conflict situation which carries an undesirable potential to disturb their self-interests comes up?

What about the arts because essentially, isn’t every great art a study of the innumerable vortex of human as well as natural conflicts? What will happen to our creative grandness and beauty if everybody was to be tactful and practical and docile? Greatness, it seems, always has to be achieved by compromising on the many normalities of an ordinary life.

In the conclusion, it can only be said casually (but not superficially) by deduction, due to the lack of any reference of concrete empirical backing, that it is not really necessary always for the family to produce a product either from the binaries of normal and abnormal children strictly according to its prevalent normality or abnormality; the product doesn’t always have to correspond to the conditions prescribed.

Sometimes, the individual’s innately strong sense of internal direction acts as the only deciding factor required to forge a unique identity, not borne through the family’s systems at all. Such individuals exist despite the family and not because of it. But again, they are the rare breeds genetically and thus, socially. In addition to the individual disposition, the early environmental stimuli to which the individual has been exposed to can decide the lasting aspects of the final product.

For instance, Che Guevara was not a born radical; he became one in his youth when during the course of his extensive tours across Latin America, he underwent cognitive dissonance upon exposure to mass poverty and exploitation of his fellow humans at the hands of the then imperialist policies of the USA. Out of an estranged family can come the most tactful person; out of a normal family can also come a highly radical person. In equal fairness.


* Rajkumar Panthoiren wrote this article for e-pao.net
The writer can be contacted at panthoirk94(AT)gmail(DOT)com
This article was posted on June 04, 2017.


* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of e-pao.net. We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.




LATEST IN E-PAO.NET
  • Khangkhui Cave, Ukhrul #2: Gallery
  • Chhungthianhoih, Agui :: eMing
  • Identity crisis : @Somorendra Lecture
  • Reflection on Tour of Dubai & Abu Dhabi #2
  • Khangminashi - II : Report
  • Globalization & its impact on our culture
  • District Demand 2011-2018 :: Timeline
  • Dishonouring the Constitution of India
  • From EVM to floor test Onus on BJP
  • Curtain Raising- Sangai Fest 2017: Gallery
  • 4th MCA Plate Tournament : Gallery
  • International Nurses Week #1
  • Story of Silence : @Somorendra Lecture
  • Apiculture (bee-keeping) #2
  • Khangminashi - II : Invitation at Thoubal
  • IBSD-ILS Centre set up in Bhubaneswar
  • Of 3 Ws - Beware
  • Forming the Govt : Office of Governor
  • Lainingthou Lai Lam thopka #2 : Gallery
  • Manipur Fight League Season 1 : Gallery
  • Prison Diary of Lamyanba NK Sanajaoba #3
  • Rights of indigenous people & merger
  • Manipur's tryst for a native Chief Secretary
  • Marxji, Modiji & Birenji
  • Naga Peace Process :: News Timeline
  • Reasoning without disparities
  • Regulate movement of auto rickshaws
  • Healing Touch: A case of still to outreach
  • Re-visiting Khangkhui caves in Ukhrul
  • Sandrembi Cheishra :: Book Review
  • Homecoming & Other Stories :: Review
  • Kuki-Zomi Insurgency in Manipur #2
  • Cry of a Dying River - 29 :: Poem
  • Shija Hospitals MOU for RBSK Nagaland
  • Are we waiting for the "Go-dot"
  • Understanding with KSO : Reaching to all
  • NNC observes 67th Naga plebiscite anniv
  • Event on martial art ends
  • Garlic Festival @ Ukhrul #3 : Gallery
  • Dr. Cesarczyk drizzled harmonics in the rain
  • Tlanglhungbung Leikol - Tourist destination
  • Manipulative skill pays in usurping power
  • Khonzel TV : New Manipuri Streaming TV
  • Naturopathy as career option
  • Free Eye Camp at Wangoo
  • Khongjom Day: OK to observe on Apr 23, but
  • Outside Manipur after Class XII
  • TRAU Vs Langsning FC : Gallery
  • Ngasepam Nalini : State Akademi Award
  • Construction of Ima Keithel
  • Inner Line Permit (ILP) Demand :: Timeline
  • Dreaming :: Poem
  • Test for dengue fever
  • Home Coming & other Stories : Book [upd]
  • Eco Tourism as alternative to Timber Trade
  • Go to Village - boon .. but a scourge for PRI
  • Citizenship Bill ... on basis of religion!
  • Gardening @Ema Keithel #2: Gallery
  • Front Page Photo 2018 #2: Gallery
  • Course in Book Publishing at IGNTU, Kpi
  • Reflection on Tour of Dubai & Abu Dhabi #1
  • Gurudev :: Poem
  • Counseling to Delhi University Aspirants
  • Poumai Purul Hiimai Paoki #1 : Gallery
  • Eyek Tamba :: Learn Manipuri script
  • Apiculture (bee-keeping) #1
  • Entrepreneur find ways to recycle plastic
  • Social impacts of Mapithel dam
  • Cyber crime defined: The Bhopal case
  • Timber banned but no ban on firewood
  • Traffic chaos : Regulate not ban entry !
  • Cheiraoba Thabal by LGBTQ #2 : Gallery
  • Culturals @Shirui Lily Fest : Gallery
  • Kuki-Zomi Insurgency in Manipur #1
  • Civil Service as a career option
  • The plight of education in Manipur
  • Appeal to Stop Oil Exploration
  • TechExpo at IIT Guwahati
  • Awaiting- a light at end of the tunnel
  • Wanted : Responses not reactions
  • Kabo Valley: A brief history
  • 'Autonomous Naga council'- a major hurdle
  • Cry of a Dying River - 28 :: Poem
  • Admission :: SAIRAM college at Patsoi
  • Khangminashi :: Lecture series at KKT
  • CASO conducted at Mantripukhri
  • PRI & the Mission- "Go to Village"
  • Final pact likely soon : Stand of CSOs
  • Pakhangba Cheng Hongba #2 : Gallery
  • Steelheart @ Shirock , Ukhrul #3 : Gallery
  • The Killing Fields - 2013-18 : News Timeline
  • A village "wall" a destruction for others
  • Thank you Mangaal Rural...
  • Lack of proper investigation- minor girl case
  • Nagaland Cong shelved plans to contest LS
  • Employment drive through Afforestation
  • Bid to attract the brightest
  • A. Halim Chowdhury: A Profile
  • Gardening @Ema Keithel #1: Gallery
  • Occupational hazards of journalists
  • Election: The greatest weapon of the people
  • Community Gardening in memory of Belinda
  • Politicians need a thorough headbanging
  • Beauty essentials for your holiday
  • NPF will not attend meeting..
  • A view on "Go to Village" Mission
  • Littering Shirui peak after Lily Fest
  • Polo ground & institute in Manipur
  • Khangkhui Cave, Ukhrul #1: Gallery
  • Dance competition @MANFETE #2 : Gallery
  • Bracing for monsoon madness
  • When I'm sick :: Poem
  • 1949: Story of India's Takover of Manipur
  • You can't defile a Judge like that
  • Legal provisions for misusing Social Media
  • Bill for non-local: Need to learn from 2015
  • Heart OPD Camp at Youth Club Brahmapur
  • Flood in Imphal [06 May ] : Gallery
  • Gudui Ngai @ Ragailong : Gallery
  • Ode to Inle (in Myanmar) #2
  • AFSPA Repeal from Meghalaya, Arunachal
  • Reclamation of eutrophicated water bodies
  • Hey smartphone! Free me from your spell
  • Job Positions at VITSOFTS, Canchipur
  • Lainingthou Lai Lam thopka #1 : Gallery
  • Phumdigi Tantha Dance Drama : Synopsis
  • Speaker List at Seminar on Atomic Energy
  • The making of village republics
  • The Sunset Blues :: Poem
  • Rio for development on eastern corridor
  • Welcomes decision on mini hornbills
  • Good show only from Imphal
  • 'ZB (AMN) President creating confusion'
  • Zeme Nagas aggrieved at 'non-inclusion'
  • Class XII Exam Toppers : Gallery
  • Prison Diary of Lamyanba NK Sanajaoba #1
  • Communal Harmony in a Multicultural ..
  • Community Gardening Event at Ema Keithel
  • Usurped Domain
  • Fruit stalls : Who gave them the license ?
  • 60 best social media practices
  • Pakhangba Cheng Hongba #1 : Gallery
  • Class XII Result : Science Toppers
  • Class XII Result : Arts Toppers
  • Class XII Result : Commerce Toppers
  • HSE Result 2018 : District Wise
  • HSE Result 2018 : Highest Marks
  • HSE Result 2018 : Science Stream
  • HSE Result 2018 : Arts Stream
  • HSE Result 2018 : Commerce Stream
  • Scholarship for Civil Aspirants : Gallery
  • The Streets Of Imphal
  • Civil Aspirants Scholarship Announcement
  • Vandalizing of fruit seller- protecting identity
  • Free Heart OPD Camp at Manipur University
  • Go to Village Mission: Another first for Govt
  • Khongjom Day - April 23 #2 : Gallery
  • 16 out of 18 clears IIT/JEE Mains
  • RIST Talk-36 : Enchanting Light of Firefly
  • Cry of a Dying River - 27 :: Poem
  • World Veterinary Day - 2018
  • Halt oil exploration work in Manipur
  • Snakebites and Uniformed Saviours
  • SRDP funds: NDPP calls for investigation
  • National PR Day at Guwahati
  • The only way towards salvation
  • Haudonggi Lamchat :: Funga Wari
  • Mukada: Eroding Festival of Kharam Tribe
  • Steelheart @ Shirock , Ukhrul #2 : Gallery
  • 'Go To Village mission' launched at Yaiskul
  • Quality assurance management as career
  • Test for Human Papilloma Virus (HPV)
  • UCM, MPP making clear their stand
  • Kh Sanjita & Saikhom Mirabai :: Gallery
  • May Calendar for Year 2018 :: Tools
  • How India Restrain NE Extremist Outfits
  • Sr. Liaison Officer wanted at KEN Manipur
  • Liangmai disassociate from Zeliangrong #2
  • Act East Policy: A boom or doom for locals
  • Neuro OPD at SKY Hospital, Porompat
  • Shirui Lily Fest: Attract more outside tourist
  • AR conducts Security Meet at Andro
  • Climbing the Shirui Hills #1 : Gallery
  • NE Guide to Thailand : Gallery
  • Prof N Irabanta : Doyen of Aerobiology
  • Celebrating Karang: A cashless village
  • STDCM gi chahigi meefam pangthokhre
  • Clarification by TR Zeliang: Reg. MNREGS
  • Seminar: Mental Health, Social Work
  • CM Rio attempted to divert Funds
  • Paintings @Imphal Art Camp : Gallery
  • Opening: Shirui Lily Festival : Gallery
  • Floral tributes to PLA members #3 : Gallery
  • Ode to Inle (in Myanmar) #1
  • Mental health & suicide: Global health issue
  • Sr. Web Developer wanted at Mobimp
  • Mega Ex-Servicemen rally
  • Religion as Weapon of politics
  • Final Naga Accord : acceptable to all?
  • Steelheart @ Shirock , Ukhrul #1 : Gallery
  • Wrong Teaching
  • TRAU Vs Bengaluru FC #2 : Gallery
  • Edge of self determination #3
  • Shanglen for Ima Panthoibi at Khumbong
  • 'HUN' Thadou Cultural Festival #2 : Gallery
  • Liangmai disassociate from Zeliangrong #1
  • Khongjom Day - April 23 #1 : Gallery
  • Northeast Indian Guide to Thailand
  • Interaction with Steelheart @Imphal: Gallery
  • Khongjom Numit: Last battle of Manipur
  • Battle of Khongjhom :: Read about it
  • Teinem Luira Phanit #2: Gallery
  • Naorem Kalimohon Singh : A Profile
  • Cheiraoba @ Kolkata : Gallery
  • Manipuri speaking diaspora in Assam
  • Cheiraoba Chak Katpa [14 Apr] : Gallery
  • Md Awaysh Khan: Mr. India : Gallery
  • Mahesh Thounaojam #2 : eRang Photos
  • Mnipur Ima :: Seireng
  • Tributes to Khelen Thokchom : Gallery
  • Sanakhya Ebotombi Haorokcham: Biography
  • PM Narendra Modi @Imphal #2 : Gallery
  • Enakta Leiringei (Film) #2 :: eRang
  • Temples of Manipur : Gallery
  • Recipients of Akademi Awards for 2014
  • Old Manipuri Movie #1 :: eRang Classic
  • SPONSORED ADS