Positive attitude and personality - Key to success
- Part 2 -

L Wolring *

(10). Give honesty and sincere appreciation:Give honest and sincere appreciation. William James said, "One of the deepest desire of human beings is the desire to be appreciated. The feeling of being unwanted is hurtful." Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another person. It makes a person feel important. The desire to feel important is one of the greatest cravings in most human beings. It can be great motivator. "The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis but rather the feeling of being unwanted." Mother Teresa.

(11). Accept mistakes and move on: Some people live and learn while others live and never learn. Mistakes are to be learned from. When we realize our mistakes, it is a good idea to accept responsibility for it and apologize as acceptance disarms the other person. "When I am wrong, make me easy to change; and when I am right, make me easy to live with." This is a good philosophy to live by.

(12). Discuss but avoid argument: An argument is one thing that you will never win. If you win, you lose; if you lose, you lose a good job, customer, friend and marriage. The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you have. The best way to win argument is to avoid it. In order to discuss some topics, let the other person state his side of the case without interruption. We should not try to prove him wrong on every point. Never let him to drag us to his level but treat him with courtesy and respect that will confuse him. "I learned a long time ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and besides, the pig likes it." Cyrus Ching.

(13). Avoid gossip: Gossiping and lyig are closely related. A gossip listen in haste and repeats at leisure. A gossip is more concerned about what he overhears than what he hears, It has no respect for justice. Gossip can lead to slander and defamation of character. It breaks heart, ruins lives and careers, wreck marriages and causes heart aches and sleepless nights. A gossip usually gets caught in his own mouth trap. People who gossip with you will also gossip about you in your absence. It is better to refrain from indulging in gossip.

(14). Turn promises into commitments: A promise is a statement of intent. A commitment is a promise that is going to be kept no matter what. Commitment comes out of character and leads to conviction. Commitment does not take away freedom; it actually gives more freedom because it provides a sense of security. Commitment leads to enduring relationships through thick and thin.

(15). Be dependable and practice loyalty: It is an old tradition saying, "An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness." It is universal and eternal proverb. Good relationships are very hard to find and it shall be matured once it is developed. We cannot dream and enjoy a good life at the expense of others. We need to make personal sacrifices for our family and friends, those we care about and who depend on us.

(16). Be grateful but never expect gratitude: Gratitude is a feeling which improves our personality and builds character. It is a feeling of thakfulness towards others. It is conveyed through our behavior. Gratitude teaches us the art of cooperation and understanding. With gratitude and humility, right actions come naturally and a gracious attitude changes our outlook in life.

Think back and try to recall the people who had a positive influence on your life. Remember anyone who spent extra time to help you because they willingly sacrificed their time, effort, money and many other things for you. They did out of love and not for your thankfulness. Christ healed ten lepers and when he turned back they were all gone except one who had the courtesy to thank him. Christ said, "I didn't do a thing." Like Christ we should not expect gratitude.

(17). Avoid bearing grudges: We all heard about the phrases, "I can forgive but I can't forget", when a person refuses to forgive, he is locking the doors that someday he might need to open, We are hurting ourselves most when we hold grudges and harbour resentments. "Forgive the other person but don't forget their name." John Kennedy.

(18). Practice honesty, integrity and sincerity: Honesty means to be genuine and real. It inspires openness, reliability and frankness. Honesty requires firmness and commitment. It shows respect for one's self and others. It is important to build or develop a reputation of being trustworthy. When a kind of relationship developed at home, at work or socially, it is integrity. When we continue to cheat or deceive people while dealing or giving unfair value for the wages or money, we lie so much that we no longer know what is the truth.

We know that we didn't work sincerely but deceived ourselves. When we tell lies, we lose credibility. Once we have lost credibility, even when we tell the truth, no one believes us. The quality of a good character is honesty and sincerity. "Make yourself an honest man and then you may be sure there is one rascal less in the world." Thomas Carlyle.

(19). Practice humility: We understand that humility is the foundation of all virtues and a sign of greatness. Confidence without humility is arrogance. Success and humility go hand in hand. Simplicity and humility are the two hallmarks of greatness.

(20). Be understanding and caring: We know that in relationships, we all make mistakes and sometimes we are insensitive to the needs of others, especially those who are very close to us. This leads to disappointment and resentment. The answer to handling disappointment is understanding. The basis of real communication is to understand. A caring attitude out of understanding and love is to build a good will, which is the best kind of insurance that a person can have without any cost.

(21). Practice courtesy: Courtesy is an off shoot of deep moral behavior, which costs nothing but pays well. It is a consideration for others. It is the little things that make a big difference. It requires humility as courtesy means practicing good manners. No one is too big or too busy to practice courtesy. It means giving your seat to the elderly or to the disabled. A courteous person who is not very sharp, will go further in life than a discourteous but sharp person.

(22). Develop a sense of humor: A sense of humor makes a person likable and attractive. We will be able to learn and possess the ability to laugh at ourselves if we have a sense of humor because it is the safest humor. Dr. Norman Cousins said, "Positive emotions, like happiness and laughter, would bring positive chemicals into our system and cured ourselves by laughing".

(23). Don't be sarcastic and put others down: We all need to understand that negative humor may include sarcasm, put - downs and hurtful remarks. Any humor involving sarcasm that makes fun of others will be bitter taste. An injury is forgiven more easily than an insult. Hurting others' feelings is like putting others down.

(24). To have a friend, be a friend: Experience is the best teacher and it has shown that there is no perfect person, no perfect job and no perfect spouse. Most of us forget that we have to be the right person too when we keep looking for the right employer, the right employee, right spouse, parent, child and so on. When we look for perfection, we are disappointed because all we find is that we traded one set of problems for another set of problems. Building friendships and relationships takes sacrifice, loyalty and maturity. Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stone of all friendship.Friendships can be categorized as follows:

(a). Friendship for pleasure pleasure goes, friendship goes. (b). Friendship for convenience This is where people make friends to gain something and are not lasting.

There are three kinds of friendship for convenience namely, (i) Proximity It is convenient to socialize or togetherness because of neighborhood proximity goes friendship goes. (ii) Usefulness He is financially well and of high position, build and maintain relationship, he could be useful someday. Usefulness goes, friendship goes. (iii) Common enemy My enemy's enemy is my friend. Common enemy goes, friendship goes. (c). True friendship is built on mutual respect. These are people who have the good of each other at heart and act accordingly. It is based on character and commitment. The people who are true friends in the real sense help one another but these are not favours. This last forever.

(25). Show empathy: Empathy means an ability to imagine and share another person's feelings and experiences. It is very important characteristics of a positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question, "How would I feel is someone treated me that way?" There is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is, "I understand how you feel." Empathy is, "I feel how u feel." Both sympathy and empathy are important but of the two, empathy is certainly more important.

(26). Be a punctual person: Be a punctual person. Punctuality is happening or doing at the agreed or proper time. It plays a vital role in accomplishing the work or task on time. If we are not punctual, there is possibility of missing everything. We would lose the battle if we miss the instructions of our commander. We would miss the flight if we delayed. We would miss the meeting or conference and get humiliation. We would fail in the examination because we didn't prepare on time. It is best to be punctual for a lifetime of success.


* L Wolring wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer is Principal of Anallon Christian Institute and President of Anal Literature Society, Chandel
This article was posted on November 16, 2016.

* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.

  • Teinem Luira Phanit @Ukhrul #1 : Gallery
  • PM Narendra Modi @Imphal #1 : Gallery
  • Candle Light for Pravish @Delhi: Gallery
  • RTE taunts Kamuching: Mapithel Dam
  • Please dont become slave to any holy book
  • Pravish's Parents meet HM Rajnath Singh
  • Assam Rifles celebrates Cheiraoba
  • Job requirements @SKY Hospital
  • Nursing opportunity across Europe
  • The Killing Fields :: News Timeline
  • Education: addressing the core issue
  • Call to amend the Army Act
  • MoUs inked to boost tourism in NE
  • Sajibu Cheiraoba Chingkaba #1: Gallery
  • Yaoshang Sports @Kakwa: Gallery
  • Human right intimidated by SF: Amnesty Intl
  • Bikers rally to spread awareness on Cancer
  • TB survivor resolves to make TB-free ..
  • State Level World Kidney Day
  • Course in Comparative Literature at NEHU
  • Candle Light at DU for Pravish Chanam
  • PS issue stands as litmus test for CM
  • Cheiraoba Chak Katpa #1 : Gallery
  • Premier League coaches train : Gallery
  • Culturals @ Republic Day #3 : Gallery
  • Draft Asian Declaration: right to justice #4
  • Radhakumar's Atoppa Sansar Amada #2
  • Prevention of cruelty to trees
  • Premier League coach train NE participant
  • GoI may sign agreement without NSCN(K)
  • Manipur celebrates New Year with gaiety
  • Zeliang denies involvement in terror funding
  • Shopping: Sajibu Nongma Panba #1: Gallery
  • Stall @Science Congress, MU #1: Gallery
  • Sajibu Cheiraoba (Meitei New Year)
  • Saving Nambul: Convergence of view
  • Job @ PR Enterprises, Khurai
  • National Institute for Locomotor Disabilities
  • Seminar on 'Conflicts in South Asia'
  • Luck matters; but not always
  • On completing one year in office
  • Spectacle distribution at Loktak Station
  • DGAR visits Manipur on his farewell visit
  • PM at Science Congress @MU #1: Gallery
  • Yaoshang Water & color #3: Gallery
  • Eyek Tamba :: Learn Manipuri script
  • A tribute to Stephen Hawking
  • Draft Asian Declaration: right to justice #3
  • Effect of a Sleepless Night :: Peom
  • Psychology at MIT School of Vedic Sciences
  • So near yet so far
  • Naga CSOs walking with JCILPS
  • Vegetables grown @Thanga #1: Gallery
  • Yaoshang Fancy Dress Contest: Gallery
  • Yaoshang Sport @Khagempalli #2: Gallery
  • Truth of Life :: Poem
  • Celebration of womanhood
  • HQ IGAR (S) celebrates 15th Raising Day
  • Jet Airways for more flights for NE
  • Publicity doing good, Garbage filth continue
  • Other issue overriding education: Class XII
  • Wortam: The Rising Young Mashangva
  • Eidi Ethantani by Eyoom :: Review
  • OMCT : UA on harassment of Ranjeeta
  • Mass destruction of opium poppy cultivation
  • Career options in printing press
  • IBSD launches hi-tech facility for farmers
  • Bangalore Yaoshang - Cheiraoba Thabal
  • Quality over quantity
  • What will the PM have to say ?
  • Zeliang gets fresh summon from NIA
  • Lui-Ngai-Ni @Longmai (TML) #4 : Gallery
  • Nengneingah, Lungkhambou :: eMing
  • Yaoshang Water & color #2: Gallery
  • Draft Asian Declaration: right to justice #2
  • BJP led Govt, not flunk in first year
  • Demand handing of Pravish case to CBI
  • PDA Govt claims false credit: NPF
  • Feminism & Path to Women's Liberation
  • Word of caution from Ibobi: BJP to listen
  • Yaoshang Cooking Contest #2 : Gallery
  • Yaoshang Mei Loukhatpa #4 : Gallery
  • Radhakumar's Atoppa Sansar Amada #1
  • Nigol :: Poem
  • List of Portfolios : Nagaland Govt
  • Clarify: Report of Zeliang summoned by NIA
  • Academic Programs offered by PHFI
  • Cong speaks: Changes expected in future
  • One year under the BJP: Significant but..
  • Students @ Class X Exam #2 : Gallery
  • Yaoshang Sport @Khongman: Gallery
  • Draft Asian Declaration: right to justice #1
  • Cry Of A Dying River...21 :: Peom
  • Manipur-Nagaland border disputes
  • Not a word on beauty on Women's Day
  • Women Religious Tour reaches New Delhi
  • Yaoshang Mei Loukhatpa #3 : Gallery
  • Chirom Indira- Nari Puraskar Award: Gallery
  • Human Rights Defender intimidated by Army
  • Rooftop Solar Power Plants: Gallery
  • Home stay for nature tourism in Manipur
  • Moodle: A learning management system
  • You can't stop small newspapers ...
  • BJP show in NE State: The backroom boys
  • Moldhin Chan: A Thado-Kuki Folktale #2
  • Yaoshang Nakatheng Chatpa #2 : Gallery
  • Mapithel Dam, Thoubal River & Tumukhong
  • Yaoshang Mei Loukhatpa #2 : Gallery
  • Time for "Nokphade" to go global
  • Campaign on International Women's Day
  • War between Left & Right has begun
  • Poppy plantation, destruction & missing link
  • Yaoshang Halankar #1 : Gallery
  • Yaoshang Water & color #1: Gallery
  • Harassment of Ranjeeta (HRA) by Army
  • Women's positions need to change
  • The Weeds :: Poem
  • We now know gold was created in space
  • Issues of women's rights should be priority
  • Protection of paddy land Act
  • Thabal Chongba @Khurai : Gallery
  • Bor-keina race @Yaoshang Fest : Gallery
  • Front Page Photo 2018 #1: Gallery
  • Tanushree @Elecrama Startup Award: Vote
  • Indian Science Congress in MU: Act East?
  • Fulbright 'pathways' for college leaving class
  • Job @ St. Stone Medical Devices
  • Army jawan martyred in Bongjai IED blast
  • National Integration Tour for Women
  • AR conduct Yaoshang sport festival
  • Condemns rising vendetta politics in NE
  • Yaoshang Sport - Marathon #1: Gallery
  • Yaoshang Sport @Keishampat #2: Gallery
  • NERIST Director post vacant since 2014
  • Dynamic Startup 3.0 at MIMS, MU
  • NDPP Legislature 1st Meeting at Kohima
  • 8th Theatre Olympics at Guwahati
  • Yaoshang Cooking Contest #1 : Gallery
  • Yaoshang Sport @Keishampat #1: Gallery
  • Sentinel Cup Equestrian #5 : Gallery
  • Translating inclusion into seclusion is..
  • Condemns land acquisition of muslim
  • News erroneously portraying Zeliang
  • Report: Shillong Lajong vs East Bengal
  • Yaoshang Sport @Khagempalli #1: Gallery
  • LGBTQ Yaoshang Sports Meet #1 : Gallery
  • M. Shenbangpu : Akademi Award 2014
  • Tribe: A concept in a state of crisis
  • Neiphiu's NDPP-BJP alliance stakes claim
  • Digital footprints: Blueprints for detection
  • Rio refutes news about 'Naga Peace'
  • Yaoshang Mei Loukhatpa #1 : Gallery
  • Yaoshang Nakatheng Chatpa #1 : Gallery
  • Yaoshang with Governor : Gallery
  • Black holes that are neither holes nor black
  • Lingaraja Temple- Lord of Three Worlds
  • Study helps hill student make up lost day
  • Yaoshang Mei Thaba : Gallery
  • Saroi Khangba #3 : Gallery
  • Chirom Indira: Highest Civilian Honour
  • Rejoinder to "MCPCR in dire straits"
  • Poppy destruction: The new norm ?
  • Stop harassment of Urikhimbham
  • Sadar Hills District Demand :: Timeline
  • Understanding the origin & essence
  • Call to reduce Yaoshang days: Make it 3
  • 8th AMWJU Sports Meet : Gallery
  • March Calendar for Year 2018 :: Tools
  • Yaoshang Thabalgi Sen Khaiba #2 : Gallery
  • Stop this shaming of menstruation
  • Yaoshang Greetings from BJP Manipur
  • Self-conscious manhood: Find true self
  • Parl Secy: To be or not to be ?
  • Holi colours can cause side-effects
  • Equality matters
  • Creating nuisance on the roads
  • Lui-Ngai-Ni @Longmai (TML) #3 : Gallery
  • Cultural @ Republic Day #2 : Gallery
  • Nonsense is Sense : Guv's attention invited
  • Protection of Human Rights: Resolution
  • Protection of Human Right Defender: Meet
  • Mapithel dam chapter before NGT
  • GOC 3 corps calls on the Governor
  • Gangnam style is better
  • From boycott call to verbal duel: NPF, BJP
  • Festival of Colours to Sports Festival
  • Food Processing Training @Oinam : Gallery
  • Time to ban malicious Moreh products
  • Cry of a Dying River - 20 : Poem
  • Training prog on Food Processing at Oinam
  • One year - now a doomsday ahead..
  • Thought on full five days of Yaoshang
  • Loree Kaju Luita Phanit #3 : Gallery
  • Yaoshang Thabalgi Sen Khaiba #1 : Gallery
  • Lui-Ngai-ni Token Celebration at Chadong
  • Sannaroisingee Numit 2018 : Gallery
  • Students @ Class X Exam #1 : Gallery
  • AoNna tEnaba :: Seireng
  • Thanga Keithel : Gallery
  • Indo-Naga Talks 2017 :: News Timeline
  • Temples of Manipur : Gallery
  • Singcha Wuya Won @Kamjong #5: Gallery
  • Recipients of Akademi Awards for 2014
  • Old Manipuri Movie #1 :: eRang Classic