E-Pao! Essay - Love, Marriage and Family

Love, Marriage and Family

By spartan_fx *

"Keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel" -
Jim Morrison

Marriage is one thing that every person is supposed to fulfill in his life. It's altogether a different thing that some people don't want to get married. It's their personal choice whether to get married or not.

It may be also because of some compelling conditions that they don't want to get into wedlock. Let's leave this and move our attention to another thing which is regarded as a complementary to marriage i.e. love.

Some people think it's a must to be in love in order to get married while some think they can be in love after their marriage. And there are also many societies in this world which don't put much emphasis on love to get married.

To them both love and marriage carries different meaning. So it'll be quite hard to discus all the existing different forms of marriage in this single essay.

Instead of that I would like to put the main form of marriage in the light which people go by i.e. monogamy.

In sociological context marriage is regarded as a social institution which gives positive sanction to the couple comprising of a man and a woman to live together under one roof and have sexual relationship meant only for the sole purpose of procreation.

The couple also have the economic obligation to one another, in other words they have to complement each other economically. For we know the main objective of marriage now we will be forced to think if these are the reasons behind getting married then do we really need to be in love to get married.

Love is just an emotion which is abstract and marriage carries certain obligations which are too important to be in the so called society. Since marriage has had enough weight to make love seems to be unnecessary, does it mean that there isn't need for love in this world?

So the whole situation is paradoxical in its own nature as a result most people are not sure of whatever beliefs they have about love and marriage.

Because of the above circumstance I think it's important to throw some light on the other element love. Some people think they are in love for real and when they are in love with someone they tend to start believing that they are going to make it to the marriage and well after it till death apart them.

Though they have such feelings their minds are fluctuated at some point of time. This fluctuation of thoughts, beliefs and values plays a major part in turning the relationship upside down, utterly bringing their relation to abrupt end. It's an incorrigible nature in us - human beings.

Everybody wants to save their relationship from going berserk. Because of this very desire on our part made me want to write this essay. I also want to contribute whatever knowledge I earned in my life to this very cause.

Before coming to those factors which are responsible for the fluctuation of our minds, we all must try to sort out what love is. In "Oxford Dictionary" it is defined in this way - "a very strong nature of affection. 2) a strong feeling of attraction linked with sexual attraction."

This is the definition the great lexicographers of Oxford can give to this four lettered word "love." Different people have different definitions as we all have different mindset.

I don't wish to give its definition, but I would rather like to give three criteria which are a must to be in love according to my perspective. At first, trust; where there is no trust there can't be love.

Secondly, mutual reciprocity of feelings; we must love the other person as much as he or she loves us. There must be always that balance of feelings so that there won't be conflict of feelings.

Last but not least is the ability to compromise; since, it's impossible to have similar interest in many aspects of life, we must be prepared to swallow some of our principles and values so that we can go along with our partners and eventually saving the relationship.

We all are aware of the prevailing trends in many western societies where marriage loses some of its importance as most people are not interested in getting married. The rate of divorce is also soaring up beyond our imagination.

The main issue which is in question these days is the breakdown of the age-old institution of family. Family is basic unit of society upon which the whole social system relies. This may lead to a kind of havoc which won't spare even a single soul on the face of earth.

So we must be considerate of changing status of marriage and family. If a couple is on the verge of divorced or already divorced both the husband and wife is hurt and they go through a phase of mental trauma.

It also has a dreadful effects on their children if they have any. It's regarded as an ignominious incident for the respective couple. We can see many of such incidents in our day to day life; just take the celebrities like that of famous actors as an instance.

In this age of infidelity and betrayal many persons are confused and their minds are perplexed. And they don't even know how to soothe their perplexed minds in these increasingly complex societies.

They need some kind of panacea but unfortunately nobody knows from where to fetch it. I mean nobody knows the solution.

Just like the married couples many youngsters are changing their dates like changing underwear. This in turn leads to lose of faith from love. Many people think love is the avenue to sex.

If this is the truth then I would like to remain as a bachelor throughout my life as I can buy sex but not love. To me love is that magic that can change our lives for ever and it'll also save your marriage from destruction.

If we are getting married only for sexual reasons, then it'll be better if we don't get into the fuss of getting married. If you are married to someone it means you've to be royal to him or her, confining only to one person.

Instead of it if you are not married then you can share your bed with anyone and you'll be also able to change your partner at your will, isn't it?

Let's try to save the sacred institution of family by being royal to your love ones. And look thoroughly before getting into a relationship with someone so that you don't have to make a fuss later on cursing the other person and your life.

It'll also save you from STDs, am I right my dear friends. At the last moment I would like to remind you that it's your life and something bad happens to you then you are the only one who'll be paying for that mistake you committed in life.

Nobody has to carry your burden on his shoulder. So it's your life do whatever you want.

spartan_fx contributes regularly to
The writer can be contacted at
This article was webcasted on 15th August 2005.

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