TODAY -

Just what I see in 'Love' these days

Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam *



Loving someone without any process ? How is that even possible ? I know this might sound very much off trend but this will be helpful for a lot of young adolescents. Most of all this time I have been told or taught that 'Love is an Art.' And there are processes and protocols in love. And sadly people at times race in the process but not for the enigma. Let me break it down further.

We now live in a time where the amount of love is judged by your in-laws with how much you get in your pocket per month. Listen, this might be something you have heard a lot but is it not scary ? Living in a world where process is given more importance than the lover. Yes - with no remorse I will stand tall with the fact that it is an art.

But it will be a sad thing if all change themselves into artists of love for they are not looking hungrily for the end but for the love of the process. An artist with no patience will scrap a page when he/she is not satisfied with his/her work. Well ! I think that principal is being directly poured in. Morning text to goodnight kisses, from Valentine's day to break up days, the feelings seem to have been marketised.

There was a time when 'I LOVE YOU' came slow and long. But nowadays, it's nothing but just a hobby. When you are bored, people find someone to share, not to a friend but a little more comfortable one. And when they think one's not enough, they get above one. That's the game.

I know love is, first and foremost, an emotionóbut one that is, more than most emotions, rooted in our bodies and in the ways our bodies age together. I'm not just referring to the vagaries of lust, though that can lead to romantic love.

As love grows and deepens, it lights up some parts of our nervous system and dims others. The importance of feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine may decline over the course of a relationshipóbut a love that reaches maturity will bind the lovers on a neurological level.

How much ever love might sound amazing to you, let me tell you what exactly is happening. Just some nasty ways - you keep me happy and I will keep you happy, if I am not happy with you, I will leave you without giving it a second chance. Second, you do not share your problem with me but I will share and you have to listen and reply properly.

Then if you tell me your problem, again I am not here to listen to you, but you have to listen to mine. Third, I will love you and promise to be with you as long as my parents fix my marriage somewhere else because you know I love my parents when they fix my marriage to an NRI or with a person having 6-figure salary in a month.

Fourth, I will give you what you want and you will give me what I want and after that if we get totally bored (physically/mentally ), we will break-up saying 'it's not working anymore.'

You will remain presentable all the time and I don't need to be presentable as I am already good looking, so be presentable so that while introducing you with my friends I should not feel embarrassed.

When you think of the men and women of your grandparents' generation, there are a lot more marriages that lasted in their generation than in ours. They didn't have the options we did to end a bad relationship and while I'm glad we have the freedom to end dangerous or emotionally abusive relationships, perhaps we've gone a little too far in the throwaway viewpoint ?

These days it seems to be that we consider love in black and white. He gets loud and uncouth when he drinks ? Dropped. He looks at dirty pictures ? Dumped. He talks to other girls (not in a flirty way, just talks to them) Kicked to the curb. He lives too far away and it's hard. Break-up.

Our grandparents went to war. They left their loved ones behind and they couldn't send a text or pop on Facebook to say "Hey bae, all good here". The people left behind went months or years without even knowing if the person they loved was alive or dead.

I think having that terrifying uncertainty does a lot towards making you see how valuable a person is in your life. I worked in an Oncology ward and I came to realize that life is fleeting, precious and tenuous.

We should value the beautiful things we have, because in the blink of an eye, they can be gone.


* Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer is an International Awardee and also a major in International Business Marketing from Algonquin, Ottawa, Canada.
He is also the director of The Oratory Academy, and the founder of International Youth Alliance, based in Canada.
He can be reached at birkarnelzelzitthiyam3073(AT)gmail(DOT)com
This article was webcasted on 30 March 2023

* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of e-pao.net. We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.




LATEST IN E-PAO.NET
  • Landscape: Phuba Thapham Village : Gallery
  • Violence in Manipur 2023 :: News Timeline
  • Alleged commencement of genocide campaign
  • World Environment Day 2023
  • Poppy plantation & narco terrorism
  • How to become a cyber security expert
  • No end in sight to violence
  • Time to validate reservation in health sector
  • Women CSOs meet Amit Shah : Gallery
  • Who is the Troublemaker in Manipur ?
  • Global Manipur Federation Established
  • Amit Shah Ji made it very clear
  • Beekeeping for a successful sweet revolution
  • Upward tick of body bags
  • Beginning of Life in the UK #5
  • Joseph's Son Premiere @Shanghai Film Fest
  • Memorandum to Union Home Minister
  • India's Act East Policy and its Influence on NE
  • Amit Shah plans to bring violence to an end
  • Women in civil services (Administrative)
  • High expectation, minimal crisis measures
  • A Voice From Khurkhul
  • Has appeasement towards Kuki backfired ?
  • Roaring through the Frontier
  • 3rd June is World Bicycle Day
  • Witnessing the resurgence
  • Setting the narratives right
  • Pinning hope on judicial probe to end crisis
  • Human-chain @ Keishampat #1 : Gallery
  • Wanted : The Idea of Manipur
  • Post of DGP Manipur
  • Fallout a legacy of colonial British rule #2
  • Workshop: Integration of Communication
  • Union Home Minister's visit is a step too late
  • Manipur in flames since one month
  • Random use of firearms debunks communal
  • Amit Shah visit to Manipur [31 May] : Gallery
  • Fallout a legacy of colonial British rule #1
  • Day 3 report of Amit Shah's visit
  • 8000 surrender since 2014; Manipur burning
  • Breast Cancer! What all you need to know
  • No magic formula spelt out
  • Armed attacks corroborate irrelevance of ST
  • Singju Fest @Heingang #2 : Gallery
  • June Calendar for Year 2023 : Tools
  • Memorandum to Union Home Minister
  • Condemned Vandal, Media Misinformation
  • The voice of India's traditional handlooms
  • Amit Shah in town
  • Task cut out for Centre to prevent battle
  • A family of painters & their works
  • Peace first - Solution next
  • Concern over ongoing ethnic violence
  • Condemnation of Act by Armed Militants
  • Nation building through Jan Bhagidari
  • Playing the victim card
  • Internet ban serving no real purpose
  • Relief camp @ Khundrakpam #2 : Gallery
  • How Nehru accepted ... a religious head
  • Observation of present unrest in Manipur #2
  • When rage hijacks sanity
  • Why internationationalisation of education
  • A case of Nero fiddled while Rome burnt ?
  • Beginning of Life in the UK #4
  • The Good Old Days :: Poem
  • Status of Mithun farming in NE
  • Beauty essentials for your holiday
  • Chaudhary Charan: The Voice of Rural India
  • Manipur crisis on centre's menu, at last
  • Curfew : Night time in Imphal : Gallery
  • Manipur turmoil - Dynamics and misgivings
  • Debate on Art 371-C, new facet to violence
  • Sausage as a value added product
  • Gender & anti-corruption : G-20 Agenda
  • Waiting for the Union Home Minister
  • Insecurity among MLAs as violence continues
  • Advanced INA Headquarters, Moirang #2
  • Mt. Khangchendzonga and me
  • Awakening call to our leaders :: Poem
  • The unseen costs of Internet shutdown
  • An open letter to PM Narendra Modi
  • Best choice of career options after 12th Arts
  • Time to think for the children
  • Gunmen loose in foothill, military in city
  • Sit-in-Protest [21 May] : Gallery
  • Manipur situation mentioned at UN
  • Observation of present unrest in Manipur #1
  • Man, woman, sex, sexuality and the truth
  • Japanese koi fish: Farming in Manipur
  • Khurakki Eena Lai Saba
  • Time to tilt the balance
  • The Story of Leishemba : Fungga Wari #2
  • Press Meet at Dispur Press Club, Guwahati
  • Condemns assault on media by armed forces
  • What/who is tearing Manipur apart ?
  • The fast & ugly spread on social media
  • Separate admin call: Acceptable to the Nagas?
  • Task for men in uniform to restore peace
  • HSE 2023 Toppers :: Science
  • HSE 2023 Toppers :: Arts
  • HSE 2023 Toppers :: Commerce
  • Why should Meitei be included in ST list?
  • Books are our Best Friends
  • Forced peace not viable line
  • Expansionism agenda at play
  • Sit-in-Protest @ Ima Keithel : Gallery
  • International Tea Day : Jimli
  • CSO meet at Manipuri Basti, Guwahati
  • History - A New Perspective :: Poem
  • Posers to New Delhi and Imphal
  • Beginning of Life in the UK #3
  • Silent murmurs longing for answers
  • Perturbed about the future of Manipur
  • Take immediate action to bring normalcy
  • Can Myanmar-B'desh cooperate in disaster
  • Reopen national highways before it's too late
  • Tree's greatest strength lie in its roots
  • Press Conference at Press Club of India
  • Solidarity meet in support of women wrestlers
  • Management of Fall Armyworm
  • Benefit & drawback of Taka-Rupee exchange
  • Time to set right the narrative
  • Sit-in-Protest in Imphal : Gallery
  • Writer of 'CCpur da khundariba Meetei sing'
  • Landing in Sikkim, 1983
  • Request for lifting ban on Internet
  • Farm income through efficient farm mgmt #2
  • Condemns rape of a minor girl in Assam
  • SoO pact under scanner
  • Price of cooked up stories & hatred
  • Angamba & Samuel: Friendship beyond riot
  • Supreme Court ruling on Manipur High Court
  • Bijou Thangjam in Kannada film: Chilli Chicken
  • Do you want a "New Nagaland" ?
  • Our nurses, our future
  • Attempt to seize ancestral Meetei land
  • Significant stand of TNL
  • Relief camp @ Khundrakpam #1 : Gallery
  • Featured Front Page Photo 2023 #2: Gallery
  • Instigating violence for narrow political gain
  • Agri-Tourism: Approach to rural development
  • Manipur on the boil since May 3
  • Time for introspection on communal riot
  • Ground assessment to expose riot plotters
  • Relief camp @ Moirang #2 : Gallery
  • Appeal to people who are blocking highway
  • Plantation drive of medicinal plants
  • People spirit to help each other shone bright
  • Useful tips for healthy teeth & a happy smile
  • Suspension of internet
  • Violence subsides, tension persists
  • The Story of Leishemba : Fungga Wari #1
  • Mother's Day calls for Peace
  • Farm income through efficient farm mgmt #1
  • Nari Shakti : Empowering the Nation
  • From streets to political corridor
  • Onus on SF to justify normalcy claims
  • Beginning of Life in the UK #2
  • Impact of Internet Ban on Students
  • An open letter to citizens of Manipur
  • Help Rebuild Manipur
  • Nutrition garden for food security
  • Condemns lack of efforts by state govt
  • Curtain Story
  • Shirui Lily Fest 2022 #2 : Gallery
  • The only way forward is peaceful coexistence
  • Advancing Indo-Naga peace process
  • The courage to be 'yourself'
  • Mass culturing technique of nematode
  • 3 decades of Panchayati Raj Institutions
  • Blacking out stand of 10 MLAs
  • Need to present a strong case
  • Bye to cashless transactions for now
  • Accelerate probe into communal clash
  • Mithingai Amagi Meeshi @ Drama : Gallery
  • Fight to end corporate capture of healthcare
  • Mother to all :: Poem
  • International Nurses Day - 12 May
  • NPF condemns same sex Marriage: Azo
  • Commercialized artificial insemination in pig
  • Not all in designated camps
  • Relief camp @ Moirang #1 : Gallery
  • Mass gathering for peace & harmony at Pune
  • Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind :: Rvw
  • 'Demographic threat' to indigenous inhabitant
  • Galvanising Swachh Bharat Abhiyan
  • Uneasy calm as state limps back to normalcy
  • Probe inevitable to expose mayhem instigator
  • Time to focus on rehabilitation
  • Spare women and children, medical
  • Kangkum Village in Kamjong : Gallery
  • Appeal to all the people of Manipur
  • Genesis of Manipur crisis
  • Of people and communities
  • Scholarship for civil service aspirants
  • Understanding IES/ISS Examinations
  • Catalyst & solutions to ethnic clashes
  • Appeal to restore normalcy in Manipur
  • We need groundwater in Manipur
  • Just a little courage for the word 'No'
  • Working journalist movement
  • To SC against HC directive
  • 'Peace Appeal' by Women of Northeast
  • Celebrities urge national media not to publish...
  • To our Brothers and Sisters in Manipur
  • Calling for peace and relief
  • Importance of post harvest technology
  • Watermelon a Summer fruit
  • From May 3, 1993 to the present
  • COVID-19 : Impact in Manipur :: News Timeline
  • Beginning of Life in the UK #1
  • Ishanou : Film recognised as World Classic
  • Meghalaya government launches helpline
  • Manipur & NE - PM's favourite on MKB
  • Comfort Zone and Days of Yore :: Poem
  • Singiri Kona, the solitude Narasimha Temple
  • Advanced INA Headquarters, Moirang #1
  • Candle light vigil at Delhi
  • Restore calm & prevent further escalation
  • Appeal to give up violence
  • Refrain from violence
  • How to go for quick revision for JEE Advanced
  • It is not Tribals Vs Meiteis
  • MANITEX @ Nilakuthi #5 : Gallery
  • Lui-ngai-ni@ Chandel #2 : Gallery
  • Khongjom Day @ Khebaching : Gallery
  • 100th Episode of 'Maan Ki Baat' : Gallery
  • Id-ul-Fitr @ Imphal #2 : Gallery
  • Mangka tour of Switzerland & France : Gallery
  • Houses @ Thalon, Tamenglong #2 : Gallery
  • Downloadable Manipuri Calendar for 2023