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E-Pao! Essays - Don't Influence Social Pressure

"DON'T INFLUENCE SOCIAL PRESSURE"

By: Konjengbam Candle *



Most parents love and cherish their children. There is no sacrifice a loving parent is not prepared to make for the well-being and happiness of their children. Unfortunately, modern materialistic society of "MANIPUR" has influenced everyone. The economic pattern during the last fifty-six years has changed drastically from agriculture to service sector and others. No longer does the family operate as an economic unit on the farm.

The children are being influenced by the changed consumption patterns and demands by their peers in school and other activities, fuelled by the advertisements through mass-media. They are exposed to a wide range of situation for being more and more desirous. And the parents are being pressured to fulfill their desires.

Such changes place great pressure on parents, many of whom are seen to be unable to cope with the psychological demands. This pressure has now made the burden of parenthood greater than ever before.

Unfortunately, their children also fall victim to these psychological pressures. Children are encouraged to excel in their studies, secure jobs that pay well, climb up the social ladder, and accumulate as much wealth as possible. Many parents do not place much due importance on virtues such as gratitude, honesty, integrity, kindness, consideration and tolerance. The pursuit of wealth and worldly success are far more important to them.

Due to such social pressure, parents, either rightly or wrongly, and without thinking of the consequences, encourage and even force their children to work hard and compete for the so-called "SUCCESS". They impose their value systems on their children who are under pressure to be smart, popular and to excel. They are under the impression that success means the ability to compete, conquer and quell opposition, ignoring the need to establish an inner harmony with oneself.

Even though such social psychological pressure is there, parents should not place the children under such pressure. To be brilliant beyond their capabilities, to be engineers when they are not ready for engineering or to be doctor when they have no medical aptitude. This unrealistic goals of their parents evoke in them sadness, grief, frustration, loneliness, guilt, regret, anger, fear, anxiety and more. An emotional turmoil develops inside the child's mind. In such state their thoughts tend to be negative-that is they think negatively about themselves and their future. Hope diminishes and they fall into the black-hole of worthlessness.

Emotional moments freeze and become insurmountable realities in their life. However parents on the other hand refuse to accept drawbacks in their children. They feel that they have given the best facilities to the child and therefore the child must perform. Very often we come across students who are pursuing a particular stream in order to complete the incomplete dreams of their parents. Thus we find many people in careers that have little to do with their aptitude, skills and desires. They drift into jobs that they are unsuited for, and end up dissatisfied, frustrated, over stressed and often bored because their parents impose them to take up that particular career. Yet, this is what all parents are unconsciously guilty of. So, let us not transfer our ambitions to them and rob them of their happiness.

Nowadays, it has become fashionable for parents to compare the academic achievements of their children with other parents. But a child should not be evaluated only on the basis of his academic achievement. We must accept him for what he is, and not what we expect him to be. All these do not mean parents should allow their children to grow up without training or to aim for excellence. Parents and teachers should be aware of the potential of their children, what they can accomplish in future in their own way and in their own good time. Children are not mature enough to plan for the distant future.

You cannot expect a primary school student to set his sight on going to university, deciding his career, or about his marriage. But one thing is certain, there is no such thing as a useless child. Every human being has some talent, some potential. An academically poor children may be born natural in sports, music or other fields. It is, therefore the duty of parents and teachers to recognize what a child is good in, his/her aptitudes, and pay particular attention to such gifts or talent, and encourage the children sense of fulfillment to develop him/her for the good of society. They should be encouraged to excel, after taking into account their aptitudes, inclinations, and abilities. Human beings are not all born equal. So, parents must recognize their children potentials and help them to excel in those areas in which their potential is strong.

Parents and teachers should try to recognize the natural ability of the children instead of imposing their ideas on them. Not all children are born to be engineers and doctors. Yet, when given every encouragement and support, their aptitudes will develop and they can grow to their fullest potential. Try to train the children according to their mentality to do something which they can do for their living.

If parents and teachers try to understand the metal capacity, the intrinsic mental habits and the potential talents of their children, there will be no difficulty in training them to be good citizens.




Konjengbam Candle writes for the first time to e-pao.net
The writer can be contacted at candlekonjengbam@rediffmail.com

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