Winter - A blessing in disguise for us thin dudes

Samarjit Kambam *

Winter Morning Fog in Imphal, Manipur :: December 2008
Winter Morning Fog in Imphal in December 2008 :: Pix - Mayum Networks

Are you the kind of guy who abstain yourself from wearing tight to medium T-Shirts during hot sunny days even though you desperately want to? Are you the type who wants to put on T-Shirts of different hues imprinted with beautiful logos and maxims but gets too shy to put on them 'cos you are ultra thin?

When someone gave a remark to you that you are too thin, are you the kind of person who runs out of answer, fumbles to yourself and replies that trousers get loose during that particular month?

Are you among the others where ounces of water get deposited between your collar bones when you take a shower? Have others told you that you look like a rib-cage? If all the questions apply to you, then welcome to the club.

I too am a guy who likes wearing T-Shirts during summer but the stumbling block is that I am too thin that I look like a malnourished and disheveled extra-terrestrial from another galaxy deliberately left by his buddies and getting lost on the highway.

Oh! The looking mirror has become my greatest enemy for giving me mental pain whenever I look at it. Whenever I put on a T-Shirt, I would look like a scare-crow. The state of affairs is even more pathetic than that. I look more like a "scare-crowd", a human repellant, one who scares the shit out of the crowd because of my sliced bamboo-thin body.

I am a metal head, so I have hell lotta collections of T-Shirts imprinted with picture of Kurt Cobain, Brain Drill, Pantera, Obituary, Halloween, Avenged Sevenfold and many others imprinted with maxims such as 'Catch Me if You Can', 'Hate Me', 'Girls, Raise Your Hands Who Don't Want Me', 'Divorce Me, I Wanna be Single', 'Sorry Girls, Am Married', 'Kick Me Not, 'Freezing Hot Burning Cold' etc etc.

I was born in the month of September and there are T-Shirts imprinted with "Legends are Born in September". I have purchased one on-line but wear it only inside my house for I have this phobia of wearing it and going out in public places as I am quite conscious of my thinness and the aura of oddity emitted by me like carrying a monkey at my back wherever I go.

So, I wear loose and long sleeved casual shirts during summer without tugging in the lower parts of the shirts inside my pair of jeans to cover my thin arms, wrist and my flat TV butt. Being an insomniac makes things worse for me. My 'lack of sleep' eyes along with my thin body make others to look at me as though I am a zombie, an undead or a deadite. Besides, I eat like a sparrow, so gaining weight and me are miles apart. My body weighs like a 12 years old. Pity me.

I took supplements to give me appetite but non of them works on me. Whenever I go to a physician for a medical check-up, there was nothing wrong with me. I took all possible medical tests ranging from MRI, ECG, Ultrasound, Sugar Level, LFT, KFT, ENT, CT Scan to Thyroid Test, scanned all the way up and down the alimentary canal and the likes but found nothing wrong with my body. My blood pressure always remains normal. Unable to diagnose with anything, the doctor who checked me almost went nuts.

Sometimes I feel like a pathological walking museum with a perfectly fine body. If many more freaks like me go to that same doctor, the doctor will lose his sanity, I guess. The last time, I left him with his sanity hanging by a thread. Maybe my problem is just an 'imagination ailment' and I doubt that doctors are taught about imagination ailments. Could it be mental stagnation on my part or am I an autistic, retarded, introvert, bumbling and misprinted guy? Questions galore. No answers.

We, the humans are "never satisfied" homo sapiens whose predecessors were hairy apes. During summer we complain about too much heat and in winter we complain about being too cold, particular in a state like ours. To some other cold countries where snow gets covered everywhere during the whole winter season, summer time is more preferred. But for us the most salubrious season is the spring season which is neither too hot nor too cold.

No doubt, most old aged ones die during winter due to rapid decrease of body temperature. So, winter season is cursed by many and particularly the old aged ones. Some experts say that thinner persons feel more cold than fatter ones in winter. I don't know how far it is true, but everybody feels cold during winter. It's not that I prefer winter more than summer.

Truly speaking, I hate both the summer and winter seasons other than the spring season which I have mentioned above. Except a few exceptional ones who are too healthy or are not susceptible to cold, bathing with cold water in the morning is kinda torture. No doubt, winter is no better than summer and summer is no better than winter too.

I want to bring home the point that, most of us thin ones feel a little comfortable in winter. It doesn't imply that we love the cold. In fact, we are the ones who have to brave the cold than the healthier, strong built ones. The reason why I give the title of this piece as "Winter - a blessing in disguise for us thin dudes" has some palpable reasons.

During the winter, we don't have to look like prisoners in kept in solitary confinement with impression of rib bones clearly visible when you wear T-Shirts. The thing is that during winter, we can make some changes in our appearances making us look a little bit stouter. And how do we do that? As you all know, we wear multiple clothing one of top of the other.

There are times when I used to put on five layers of clothing beginning from vest, two T-Shirts, one casual shirt above them and a thick jacket on top of all. As for clothing below the west, there were times when I used to put on two underwears, one pair of tight fitting stretchable track suit type pant and a pair of jeans or trousers above it.

That makes me look thicker to a certain extent. However, it is not comfortable because during afternoon time, I feel like summer but I have made myself accustomed to it.

Now, being winter I am not faced with the most uncomfortable question of, "What has happened to you? You look too thin. Were you ill?". Instead some who are concerned about apparels used to compliment me with, "Hey, your jacket looks nice" with the matter of my thin appearance completely kept at the backburner. A few years back, when I was going for a morning jog, I came across one of my thin dudes who was also jogging fitted with all the apparels of a sportsman.

I wondered how he looked so physically stout. To my utter surprise, I saw a pair of jean trousers under the track suit he was wearing and layers and layers of tees and woollen jerseys under his sports jacket. So, I thought "Oh! It wasn't only me". So, as long as it is winter, it comes as a boon for us thin ones even though it is chilly and cold. We brave it anyhow and try our best to look stouter.

We, the thin ones don't want the winter to end even though others may absolutely disagree. And one thing I like about winter is that there are no mosquitoes and there is a slight increase in appetite. Hail Winter!

* Samarjit Kambam wrote this article for The Sangai Express
This article was posted on November 14, 2017.

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