TODAY -

What are friends for ?

Dr Sumedha Kushwaha *



"Friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things"
- Paulo Coelho

In this long journey of life invariably everyone passes through tough times. The daily grind and rut fatigues all alike. The lows in life teach you that with each good that happens, there is probability for a bad. But, it's very obvious and natural that during our happy times, we are so consumed with life that the thought of occurrence of anything sad is not even a remote possibility for us.

We flow in the moment, we joyfully pass over and don't even have time to probably even blink and think. It's all a starry night with unlimited possibilities. As a course of nature however, I guess with every beautiful relationship there is separation, with every drunk night there is a morning of hangover and with each success there is learning from failure.

Vice versa with all bad things, there are good things as well. It's a cycle, where you are constantly hopping on from one place to another. But it's the good that really attracts us and sadly the sad times become villain. In reality, the good times vanish off in moments but with bad times - each passing second is arduous and horrendous.

However, what I have understood is that this era of friends with benefits is over rated. I am a staunch believer in good and I have ample experience that when you need the most, you meet with just the right people who turn up out of nowhere. They appear as if emerging from earth just for a cause that only they can fulfil in your life and share your pain as if it's theirs.

They will be with you no matter what their personal circumstances are. You don't have to be equal in social standing or monetary worth or education or profession- You just need to open your heart. These people can be someone whom you might accidentally meet in a queue towards the airport check-in or someone you meet at the store or your friend's friends or a random social media follower.

But, they have a cause to fulfil in your life. They alleviate your suffering for that moment of time. They are with you as if God sent. While your inner self knows that you are broke and shattered, however, while spending time with these people you just seem to forget all your sorrows. You are happy, joyous, normal, cheerful.

Sometimes, if these relationships last, these people become your strongest confidants, who shall stand by you no matter what and then probably leave. A lot of folks complain, but that friend never kept in touch, I guess because his/her purpose in life is over. Remember the good times, remember the times when you stood with each other, remember the time when you were with each other for good.

Friends are the best assets you can have. If you have even one person with whom you can just speak what you want, just be how you are, not fake and laugh with your tonsils lunging out, cry with your mascara all on your face, complain about life and crib and be un-understandable- believe me you are lucky! There are very few people like these. With everyone else, we are usually putting up a face.

Cherish these people and these relationships, keep them safe and unadulterated. It might take effort to keep these alive, but it's all worth the effort. There might be times when you people might part due to distance or fights or any other trivial issues. But, try your best to bring your friend back, do not be caught in the ego of who is right or wrong.

Just make a 100% effort to bring them back in life, punch them afterwards and seek it out. Because once this bond breaks or you are disconnected at the level of heart due to petty ego issues, it's a loss for both parties. Friendship is honestly the best relationship which values sometimes more than family bonds, marriage, love etc.

I think we all have listened and believed very blind eyed to the fact that the world is a bad place, people are mean, everyone becomes friends to take advantage. I guess partly that is all true. But people do have a purpose when they appear and hang around in your life, even as trivial as to make you laugh and similarly, you have a mission in other people's lives as well.

Let's start being a little more compassionate and being around with people more without an expectation or a favor in return. Today is Sunday, you have all the time in the world- Pick up your phone and call up some old or new friend without any motive and catch up with them but on this phone call- Try to listen!

"The only way to have a friend is to be one"
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


* Dr Sumedha Kushwaha wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer can be contacted at thoughtsredcaprigal(AT)gmail(DOT)com
This article was webcasted on December 26 2020.



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