TODAY -

Western Toilet

Louriyam Bebica *



Some strange love story

"people who only love once in their lives are really shallow people, what they call their loyalty and their fidelity, I call either the legarthy of custom or the lack of imagination"- Oscar Wild.

I grew up reading those love story where two protagonist (male and female) fall in love at their first sight, they stood and fought many obstacles to merge together, at last nothing could stop them to have each other. On the contrary to the world of my imagination, I married the man whom I met in person four days before the marriage ceremony. It might be awkward or strange to you. If I were under your shoe I might 've felt the same way. The first question that will knock your head when you read this will be "how could she agree to marry someone whom she never met?"

I understand your curiosity. I also can't escape from my mother who said "when you came into my life, I didn't know you. Infect you did nothing to please me. You cried the whole day and nights. Despite I was so damn exhausted and unwell I kept my eyes opened to give you comfort. There were many nights I didn't sleep so that you can sleep. You killed all my nights in your cry yet I love you. Dear 'love' is not only falling, it is also accepting someone from the core of your heart. When you do that no one will able to hold back their legs from loving you. Humans are born with LOVING instinct but we often deny that perception".

Everything was ready, the invitation cards were distributed , the mandap was decorated, marriage gifts (aa-un-pot) were kept in our courtyard, my relatives began to visit us as often as they can, mom and aunty kept asking me my likes and dislikes on the designs of gold , the color of shawls, mekhala blah blah. The only thing left was- to meet the man I am about to marry in four –five days. No one seems to care and I swear it bothers me like hell.

Brides normally waits for the day of wedding, the centre of their joy is THE THOUGHT OF THEIR UNION, a social ceremony that certify them to be with the man they 've know. However there are also many brides like me who waits for this day to know- how will he be? The color of his hair? Will he be tall or short? How will he approach me? Will he say hi or start talking on any topic ,at the very moment we met? Many questions loitered on our mind.

He is not the type of those charming prince whom I dream , but yeah he is the man who can feel the pain of others and that's worth to love him. Every single minute I spend with him make me realized the question of WHY MY PARENTS WERE SO CONVIDENT ABOUT THIS RELATION. I am also a normal girl who thinks- I know what's the best for myself , my parents didn't need to interfere in my world, they are being scarstic to my choice but when the day strike, my consciousness muttered "OH!GOD WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT THEM". I 'm not saying free choice of marriage is at fault however 've you ever thought, our parents knows much better about us than our own selves? Plus , we are human whose heart is bless with the instinct of LOVE.

Definition of Happiness

I was watching a documentary movie on some isolated tribes. I don't understand what they were doing at the beginning of the movie. When it was over what caught my mind and heart was 'HOW CAN THEY BE SO HAPPY'. The most dilemmatic question was WHO IS MORE HAPPY AS A HUMANN? We or they? They've got nothing than the NATURE but they seem to be happy on every simple situation whether good or bad. What about us? We claimed to 've every possible comfort zone yet nothing could make us happy. The arrow of satisfaction has no ends .

We spend thousands of million to get best teachers. Indeed they succeeded in teaching us the world of materialistic but failed to teach the key to happiness. A father (rain forest) was telling a folk tale to his kids about a women whose child was stolen. The story was ordinary but the way how he let his kids also get involve into the story was amazing. I can't believe he was teaching the art of music, hunting and also the appreciation of NATURE through that small story.

My kid brother cried over a guitar that he wanted to posses. Once, I asked him why he wants it, he said
-Che I like it.
-But why you like it?.
-Because many of my friends like it. I was stunned to get his answer. However it was true. I don't 've much idea about music except that many of us are like my kid brother.

On the contrary, in the forest, every piece of wood, leaves, water, as a matter of fact everything around them creates a music for them. It was wonderful watching the process how they removed the honey hive or caught fish. I could not believe that everything around them is just a music instrument and their works (either catching fish or hunting or making home or taking honey …) with those instruments are the platform of their music. To play this, they don't need any guitar or piano .What they need was their feeling and love for the nature. So I was wondering if we are not able to be happy regardless of beyond imaginary live , because we are so away from the real music of NATURE.

Appreciate the differences don't treat them like savage

''we are what we eat and talk''

Whenever I need to buy some grocery I always insisted my husband to take me to Chinese or Korean store instead of Indian store. The best thing to be here is my different look didn't drive me into insecurity . Instead it favors me. This feelings is wrong but I can't help as I 'm also an escapee who hate to face their nagging. If I go to Indian store and start speaking in Hindi they will definitely ask me
-Are you Nepali?
If I don't speak in Hindi then their next question will be
-Are you Chinese?
So, from any angle or situation they are not going to accept me as a part of them.

I was always open about my food habit. Bee is my favorite dish .I love to eat some insects that will be consider taboo in some other cultures. When (especially in UG &PG) I say this ,I was sure to get a kind of expression on their faces that was more annoying and painful than my school headmaster's cane stick. There were many times, I end up quarrelling with those big eyes and tall nose people. I am proud to be 'what I eat and talk'. Because it is me. It's my culture, my originality.

Its right when we say -it's not the TONGUE but the BRAIN that decides the taste of a food. For instance. Let me give you an example, a tourist was visiting his friend in France. His friend took him to a restaurant where they get their traditional HORSE MEAT. The tourist turn out to be a man who share a great bonding with horses. So he reluctant to taste the meat. When he did
-How is the taste? His friend asked him, eager and expecting for a positive answer.
-Egad! I don't like it.
-What? She could not believe to accept on what she heard.
-Not good. It's horrible.
Then she asked the other fellow who came with the tourist
-What about you?
-I don't know, it tastes like chicken.
-Oh. Giving a calm expression.

Now let's see these two different answers. When the tourist said profoundly 'NO', it's not only disagreeing the food but also his friend who grown up experiencing this culture of eating horse meat. In second answer, when she said that it tastes like a chicken, it shows some kind of similarity or belonging between these two different cultures. Here she didn't give a complete denial of opposite world.

We eat and talk differently. Every culture has its own standard for what is socially accepted. For instance Philippines love 18 days old duck egg embryo , in some parts of China, Chinese eat pennies of animals as they believed on their old folk tradition of medicine food, Asian has less emotional connection with dogs like westerners so they normally consider it as nutritious to eat, giant spider is mouth watering to some tribal, which is considered poisonous normally, these might be hard to think and also accept. But this is what they are .We eat and talk differently . It doesn't mean other's table is 'savage'. You don't need to deep your fingers into each bowl but we need to respect each bowls' owner.

The polarity of us on the issue of NATIONALITY is deluded by your egocentric mind not by our LOOKS.

Western toilet

Western toilet
Western toilet



"most of today's doctors treat people for ailments that are the direct result of civilization living. These doctors don't focus on eliminating the cause of disturbance instead, they treat the symptoms and their patients to continue to ignorantly and almost addictively tear themselves down"

"..also made observation about the squatting posture when he was attempting to learn why traditional African societies have little or no bowel cancer" -Dr. Jensen's Guide to Better Bowel Care. The most irritating and funniest meeting I ever experienced is when we were teaching how to use western toilet and also making fun of some students who were not comfortable using it. Can you believe it was when I was shifting to Research Scholar new hostel?

Most of us were from middle class family who were habitual to Indian style toilet. I don't mind those foreigner using western toilet. However abandoning even its option and forcing western style inside the India itself was really unacceptable. Some of you might laugh at me. It's because you don't know how majority of us suffered . The whole night I pitied myself thinking
o From which angle we are independent?
- Forget about the rest, we are not even allow to sh** the way we want.
- Our mind is control by 'SIR' system.
o When will we stop stepping on haughtiness by mimicking white people?
- Your intellectual is not count by your brain but the language you speak.

Even though you might be a knowledgeable person if you can't speak in English, ending long-long stretch in every sentence you uttered , you are consider not the fish of their pond. In any gathering, seminar or conferences , you can easily find out- who can recite in English and who can't. Those you can – will sit broadening their chest in front , those who you can't - will sit mainly at the corner of back side trying to steal or praying if they can be invisible to them. Imagine, if is the condition of an academic environment how will be at co-operate world? Now , our count is not the content but the container.

Approximately in 1850,this toilet became popular in England later spread throughout the civilized world. Alexander Cumming, a watch maker designed it which later improved by Joseph Bramah, a cabinet maker. They had no idea on the harm that will be done as their background was not from medicine or human biomechanics. Like them, the general were also unaware.

An unexpected increase in the incidence of bacterial disease in early 1900, doctors began to question the conventions of time. The most suspect was the toilet.

The most important and basic benefit of squatting position is that –the majority of all bowel problem are located in just two areas of the bowel –the cecum , in the lower right quadrant, and the sigmoid, in the lower left quadrant. These two portions of the colon are the very ones that are normally in contact with thighs during squatting.

When we use western toilet, we apply no mechanical pressure to these areas, which allows fecal matter to stagnate there. When we bear down without the thighs physically supporting the ileocecal valve, we compromise the valve's mechanical dynamic. The valves is 'blown out' and thus becomes unable to perform its function of preventing the reflux of fecal matter into small intestine. As a result, fecal bacteria proliferate and travel up the small intestine and fecal toxins are absorbed into blood stream. These toxins dramatically increase the burden on bloodstream, which negatively affects all the other organs. To add the problem, gas or hard stool may form and cause pressure against the rectum.

In general term squatting enable us to clean properly while sitting did not help doing so.

Our hostel (any public place) was the result of some well-known engineers and so call highly educated people in authority. It would have been so glad if they happened to study at least the basic need of the students and its advantage/disadvantage before the construction . Because it was not a hotel or guest house where so call sophisticated people will stay. It was a home to those poor and middle class fellows.

This can be an optional/additional not the basic/primary. It's good to flow with the image of developed countries but it will be foolishness to follow blindly without knowing what you are, dumping yourself without realizing you are better than them.


* Louriyam Bebica wrote this article for e-pao.net
The writer is currently at Texas, U.S and can be contacted at louriyambebica(at)gmail(dot)com
This article was posted on March 05, 2014.


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