TODAY -

Life is a matter of choices

Dr Sumedha Kushwaha *



"Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions"
- Mark Twain

Our destiny is "sometimes" no more than the choices we make. Hence, decision making is a crucial aspect in the process of making or breaking our so called destiny. I guess, everyone has the power to do whatever they really wish to in life. It's all then a matter of choices and the decisions we make.

But usually people do not understand that decision making is a skill that we can refine by the day. A lot of times, you must have heard about doctors who cannot operate on their own family members. Have you ever thought why?

Because when we deal with something like that, we get utterly emotional, we are attached with these people, their pain is our pain and in such circumstances uninterrupted, efficient and effective decision making becomes an issue. When emotions cloud our working brain space that is involved in collecting information, comprehending it and finally coming over to a conclusion, we usually do not make good decisions.

Understanding the art of decision making is a two step process: one - dealing with our emotions and feelings (the so called problems of the heart) and two- dealing with the practical aspects, weighing the pros and cons associated with the matter, the consequences we might have to face, foreseeing risks and anticipating challenges that might happen on the way (so called using your brain).

All situations have these aspects overlapping each other in different ratios with a hint of instinct. Emotional clouding mars us of our ability to see things in the right perspective.

Just to give you an example, you must have seen people in love, they absolutely ignore what faults their partners have, because they are so high on certain hormones and when after years of the relationship, the dope of the emotions and hormones wane off and they are struck with reality. Then they focus only on those faults which they had once absolutely had chosen to ignore.

The word of importance here is "chosen". At all times in life, we have absolutely the right to choose any action or behavior we want. The circumstances are beyond our control but our actions are.

Decision making should be done on a white paper (literally write it down),
with a balanced mind and heart (no surge on positive or negative emotions),
without bias or influence of any person/circumstance (forget what other people will think of you or want from you),
keeping all factors in sight (look into the impact it has on various aspects of life),
seeing the problem as not of our own but someone else's (thinking if I had to give a suggestion in this circumstance what would it be)
and with due importance given to feelings and emotions as well.

Unfortunately decisions are also not decisions, they are processes that take time and energy. But the most important aspect is staying true to yourself! Do not have the society's opinion guide you. I read somewhere- "You were born original, do not die a copy". Own every good and bad decision you made, do not blame on it anyone else.

And believe me, there are no bad decisions, they are just either too emotional or too practical (I am sure that takes away guilt!). But please remember that it takes nothing to join the crowd but takes everything to be yourself.

Unemotional decision making probably takes time, it questions the fundamentals of your life, its pretty hard and sometimes takes a toll on you, it would have you work on yourself, would require you to take away the utter nonsense people around you are giving you or devoid you of that love and emotional security, might seem wrong at that given moment and is a process of transformation where you shall visit the dark corners of your self which you fear treading.


* Dr Sumedha Kushwaha wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer can be contacted at thoughtsredcaprigal(AT)gmail(DOT)com
This article was webcasted on December 30 2020.



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