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Chloee Konsam *

Aerial view of Imphal City in November 2012
Aerial view of Imphal City in November 2012 :: Pix - MMTA



The word itself carries thousands of unidentified emotions. For a girl like me who has been studying outside my state away from home for the past 7 years is hard to explain its meaning.

It needs a patient ear to listen and understand. Home is the place where my childhood belonged to. It reflects all the mixed animated life of being in a family.

When I first left home to study in Kolkata, I'd never missed my home. I foresaw the adventures and abstract excitement when I reached my new school. It changed my past and the future was still ahead.

My childish curiosity never failed me and I began asking questions on my friendship and on my family. When I came to Delhi in 2008 I realized the importance of taking small steps and reaching out to the near and dear ones. I felt home was never too far. My life started taking an upturn like the engine that accelerates.

Now When I go back home, I feel the security of being there. Even if I was anonymous it never failed to recognize me. I know the feeling when an opportunity slips off just at the tip of our fingers but home is where that opportunity comforts you. For me it is not different from any other person but it taught me a great deal of 'patience' and this has led to greater opportunities for me.

This is the place where my papa stood to sweat out for us, where my mother provided every possible comfort and where my sister laughed and cried with me. Day or night it never judged me. No matter how people looked at me my home stood for me and I always felt the warmth inside.

Like the wind that soothed in the west it acted as the pacifier in my mind. The most predominant experiences are explained with ease but for me it is different and I know where to begin because that is what life taught me.

I was never afraid of leaving home and making friends was not a tough job. With a constant feeling of attachment and love I always make a turn back at the end and it is hard for me to imagine leaving home forever.

Home is not only the building or an acre of land enclosed by bricks. It has a soul and I feel I live in the heart of it. It understands what I want to say.

When I reach out with my feelings it listens to it. It doesn't offer me choices but it takes me to the right way and I know it because I have faith in it. Bereft of all the things inside my home I know it will never turn its back on me. The times when I felt lost and uncontrollable home is what I think of. It pacifies my mind and makes me closer to my family.

As a human being I know what it takes when we feel lonely and empty but home is where we belong and where feelings are considered most important. Through the choices we make all the worldly things won't matter anymore.

Home is where we decide our existence and find the reason for being human. We all know we don't go outside to prove our deftness. It all comes to the point that we need a place, warmth and the feeling of belongingness without which we all cannot survive. To make ourselves clear we all ponder over what we want to say but if we for a moment casually think how important it is to think of home and truly understand its working.

From all my experiences, it teaches you a lot of new things like we don't forego a decision sitting by a pool just like that. A home knows our needs the best and synchronizes with our body unconditionally.

All that matter is how we take care of it and how we make the best out of it. Over the years I have seen how it fills up the emptiness inside me. It makes me whole again as if the sun has risen up in the east. It is the only place where I can do anything whenever and wherever I want.

When I'm at home I know I have that liberty to cut across all the odds in my life and move on. That freedom to save myself from all the tyranny and vent out my emotions at one go. The best feeling ever knowing that at the end of the day is that u have a place to rest the night. And it just not end there, the feelings are all that is left to survive.

All the madness and all the great deeds of the day are pondered over at night and when u have a roof over your head it is more pleasurable. I know this feeling coz I have felt the strong desire for a home and not just a house. What house is it when one doesn't feel its warmth and the sense of belongingness? It is all in one go that we say we miss home.

What we really miss is the little moments and adventures of our home. The place where my parents instilled love inside me and where my sister joined hands with me in everything I did. That feeling will never go as long as my home stands strong and wall up the bad omens away from me. And I know this is the feeling that can never fade and will remind me of the days I stood facing the four walls of my home.


* Chloee Konsam wrote this article for e-pao.net
The writer can be contacted at chloee(dot)konsam(at)gmail(dot)com
This article was posted on March 17, 2013



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