E-Pao! EI - Cultural shift

Cultural shift
- Why people look at me? -

By: Joy Shaikhom *

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization."
-- Sigmund Freud

A beautiful lady with full of fabric, mehendi in hand, payal in ankle wrist, with a yellow saree, looks so gorgeous. The facial expression shows that she is near to us, near to you and near to me. I talk to her, we chat then I come to know that she is in the city for the last two years.

Throughout her ages she is brought up in a beautiful state, my Manipur. Its just two years that she stay out of state. Her lovely tongue curl while speaking our own langauge.

I asked “Do you wear fanek sometime”, she replied “I haven’t worn since my childhood”. My goodness, I was surprised. Really! You don’t wear, then my stupidity annoyed her.

Our conversation goes as we move...sometime people says I put question mark on my forehead as I usually asked too many question. I am talkative like a girl, she told me, but I suddenly reply, “Karigino nasa nathanta hanthana yengjaridi, nupi malligana hairidubo, nupi oiba tallbaro, nangdi angang oirina khongjeega si

Our next conversation is about thabal and jagoi which I love so much, here I got a sudden shock, a Manipuri lady don’t know thabal and jagoi. She even said she haven’t seen any thabal or jagoi.

I was surprised and suddenly clear my doubt by asking are you meitei, where is your birth place?. After hearing and knowing her profile, it hurts ny heart. My lady is born in Manipur and she did her graduation from Manipur University and she belongs to Meitei community.

Within the span of 4 to 5 years I have seen 4 -5 articles talking about NE people mostly girls in leading news paper. What does this mean? There must be something wrong with what we do.

A simple example, while I was doing management studies, my colleague said people have wrong perception against the "chinky look" mostly NE girl. They put themselves in a cheap status. Its not only about girl, even many of us are not put ourselves in proper manner, it seems to other mentality that we don’t dress and eat in proper manner.

I know its one’s life but we must also think that we are all social being and have to exist in societies within the environment. Change is the only constant, change will be there.

There is saying for every culture, female play a leading role, they are the mirror of our culture, the darkness or brightness of our culture depends on them. If people talks about them so much or if leading news paper wrote about them, there must be something wrong with what we do.

One more incident I would like to narrate, I could not remember the exact date and time of that particular incident. I was going to theatre for "Don", with my juinior, all from Manipur.

We were standing in front of the theatre before the film starts, suddenly I show a young lady of 24-25 ages with blue T-shirt and tight jean, getting down from a white maruti, with 4 other non Manipuri guys. She is the only lady in that troop. Every one in the gate turns eyes on her. Do you think people look because of her beauty .

This is a big “?”. As we are standing nearby to gate, after sometime everyone started looking on us again, I don’t know why people look on us, but very soon I know why other people look on us, its because that young lady is similar to our looks, I know she is from Manipur and she is Manipuri lady.

I feel sorry not because she is with 4 non Manipuri guys, it’s because how other people look on us. We are in the theatre gate before she came, but no body look us with any wrong perception, only after her arrival, people started their big eyes on us.

There will be lots of happening if we really observed. Sometime you will surprise to hear that..”Eikhoi class ta eikhoi meitei nupi manga khak yaowe, eikhoi masen amata kounede”. Good to hear such a wonderful dialogue.

It’s very useful for my simple article. They usually go to temple, for what reason I don’t know but one thing is for sure that they wear saree, lots of bangles, beautiful mehendi and payal. But many of them if you see in Manipur, they hardly go for prayer, forget this you wont see even this girl doing morning prayer which we can be proud of.

If you talk so much about this they will say you are narrow minded, they will asked us to know the world, people are changing. They will even said " don't be in Stone Age". Let us change in better ways, let our behaviors may not contaminate our beautiful culture. Lets not make people look on us because of you.

Sometimes people say boys are boys, girls are girls, men are man, but this is also wrong perception. Many men in the societies are in the mindset that females should do households work.

Forget this perception, they are equally competitive with us (men), they are already overtaking in every field and we must respect them. Why only female to take care of house work? Is the caring of child is just her responsibility; no we are equally part of this.

If I am not wrong, many of us acts with so much freedom as we move out of the home. Take the ratio of student going out of the state for studies and take the return on investment on this product. We will see that less then 10% of the students come back with proper return, other are just wasting their way of living, the new culture they adopted.

My article is not meant to hurt anyone; it’s just the situations that I would like to narrate which I came across. If it hurts someone, I would apologize in advance, but lets face the reality also.

"We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs" - Syrus

"We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes" - Henry David Thoreau, Walden.

* Joy Shaikhom, an HR Professional, contributes to regularly. The writer can be contacted at j_shaikhom(at)rediffmail(dot)com . This article was webcasted on August 24th, 2007.

* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.

  • MU: Students protest[25 Sep] :: Gallery
  • Lamyanba Hijam Irabot :: Read all about
  • Art Exhibition by R & V Art House
  • My name is Kom, Mary Kom - II
  • Electrology as career option
  • When Autumn Came :: Poem
  • Against 48 hrs bandh: Thadou Students
  • Leadership / Media seminar at Dimapur
  • Demise of a dream
  • Traffic menace: Ring road, flyover promise
  • Ringui Village, Ukhrul :: Gallery: Gallery
  • Front Page Photo 2018 #4: Gallery
  • Chinglai, Chingmeiren :: eMing
  • Autonomy on a leash
  • Manipur: Past & Present (Vol.1) :: Book
  • Cry of a Dying River - 46 :: Poem
  • NSS Cell at Assam Don Bosco University
  • Shattering the dream of Irabot
  • Pandey, Pandey all the way : MU crisis
  • World Bamboo Day #1: Gallery
  • Financial aid to AMWJU member, K. Bipin
  • Meitei-Naga Relationship
  • The concept of Langban Tarpan
  • Today is Sunday :: Poem
  • Papaya and health
  • In tiger territory
  • NEUFC Fan Park at Sarusajai stadium
  • BSE, ANPSA donate to CMRF (Nagaland)
  • 45th AMWJU Foundation day : Gallery
  • Protest crackdown at MU: Gallery
  • Lai Lik Lei & their debut "Esei"
  • Diversity, Race & Gender-Based Violence
  • Cross Border Human Trafficking : Review
  • Imphal Municipal Council Bye Laws, 1998
  • Protest held against crackdown at MU
  • Stop Terrorising the MU Campus
  • Mob violence at Manipur University
  • Facts about Nagaland House at Kolkata
  • Midnight raid at MU
  • ..bridging cultures of Assam, Manipur
  • Tuilha Kol waterfall #2: Gallery
  • Eyek Tamba :: Learn Manipuri script
  • Rally against Mob Lynching #2: Gallery
  • Beyond the tragedy of Tharoijam
  • Jarnail's tryst with Manipur :: Review
  • Who killed the looter? (Short Story)
  • Heart OPD & Echo Screening Mission
  • Call for protest against MU crackdown
  • The farce continues at MU
  • Heikru Hidongba #1 : Gallery
  • Heigru Hidongba (Boat Race)
  • Get down to business
  • The Eternal Moment :: Poem
  • Why is oiling good for the hair
  • Jobs at SKY Hospital
  • The Killing Fields 2013-18 : News Timeline
  • Creating Future Media Leaders in NE
  • Understanding Communist ideology
  • Suspended but drama not over yet
  • Arrested for molesting student in Mumbai
  • Manipuri Diaspora in Myanmar #1
  • Krishna Janma @Mahabali #2 : Gallery
  • Naga-Kuki Conflict: ..Kuki aggression
  • Tibeto-Burman Languages : Book
  • Indian Judiciary no more a caged bird
  • IGAR (S) calls on Governor of Manipur
  • Spirit of Irabot still runs in Journalists
  • Concern should be about mob mentality
  • Tribes, Art & Soul of India #1: Gallery
  • Rally against Mob Lynching #1: Gallery
  • 'Sahnit' an honour or a disgrace
  • Irabot : Socio-Political Challenges
  • Training employees for better governance
  • Blue Ocean :: Poem
  • Sextortion: Making money from shame
  • Condemn murder of Neiphretuo Metsie
  • Social lacunae
  • BJP on poll drive at Imphal, Kohima
  • Mary Kom lost 2 kg in 4 hours
  • Historical Evaluation of Puya Meithaba #2
  • Felicitation of Sportsperson: Gallery
  • ICJ: Investigation of Extrajudicial Killing
  • Legal profession as career option #2
  • Loktak Down Stream HE Project (2x33MW)
  • Protest against mob lynching at DU
  • Ripples of Music :: Poem
  • Memo submitted to CM over lynching
  • Poems of Peace, Resistance ...
  • Helicopter Schedule for Imphal-Jiri
  • Mirabai recommended for Khel Ratna
  • Martyrdom of Haipou Jadonang #3: Gallery
  • Manipur State is still winning..
  • Gazetteer of North-East India :: Book
  • Sunfeast Cup Football Tournament
  • Trip down memory lane
  • Naga Peace Process :: News Timeline
  • Folk Song :: Poem
  • The Endureres at Dwarka Half Marathon
  • Main accused in cop slaying nabbed
  • Naga talks not confined to Nagaland..
  • Trekking to Dzukou Valley #1 : Gallery
  • Rest in Peace Humanity
  • Ph Banti's artwork 'Trafficking of children'
  • Cry of a Dying River - 45 :: Poem
  • Buddhism is not a religion
  • Jobs at R-Square Design
  • Candle Light at DU over lynching
  • Society as a reflection of govt
  • Mobocracy : Shame on Manipur
  • Kuki Black Day @CCpur : Gallery
  • miAoIbgi pNTuH :: Seireng
  • An opinion on Tharoijam killing
  • How Manipur lost internal autonomy, Kabaw
  • Admission for PhD at Tripura Univ
  • Meefam ST at Nambol, Khangabok
  • Importance of Forest & Environment
  • Deep social divide: Two different folks?
  • Kuki Black Day: Kukis Will never forget
  • R & V Art House's First Art Fest 2018
  • Celebrating International Literacy Day, 2018
  • Born a Kuki, die a Kuki :: Poem
  • History of North East India :: Book
  • Will SimpliciTB make TB treatment simpler
  • Meefam chathaduna ST gi issue..
  • Dipankar Talukdar- Mr Model of World Star
  • System error- who will fix Broken Window
  • Reshuffle Talks : Say No to Yes Me
  • India negotiating vehicle pact with Myanmar
  • Chalwa Village, Kangpokpi #2 : Gallery
  • Thien & its downfall in Zeliangrong #2
  • Is FA a self exposed daylight robbery?
  • Nation Needs Small Farmers
  • Who is programming you ?
  • Bandhs as dissent & survival of laziest
  • Looking for Raju :: Poem
  • The cry of the 2nd class citizen
  • Bharat Bandh in Imphal
  • Historical Evaluation of Puya Meithaba #1
  • Sit-In: Naga Peace Talk #2 : Gallery
  • Naga-Kuki conflict: Search for definitions
  • Mega Marathon Manipur : Download Form
  • Legal profession as career option
  • Guv felicitates 5 JAK RIF for flood relief
  • Stored Anger :: Book Review
  • On stepping into the 20th year of TSE
  • Sept - month which reinstated our courage
  • Krishna Janma @ISKCON #2 : Gallery
  • Empty :: Poem
  • Lets beat littering - plastics pollution
  • NEHU Seminar : Urbanization in India
  • Jobs at JCRE Skill Solutions
  • Declaration of Naga Collective Spirit [Sep 8]
  • Akanba Khongjangidamak Yathokpa Loire
  • Support for STDC from UMA, Assam
  • 'Deplorable power supply in Nagaland'
  • Tryst with destiny - Should we accept ?
  • Stand off at MU : Impact on LS Poll
  • Exploring the enthralling Tuilha Kol
  • Kamesh Salam : Outstanding Green Activist
  • The Valley Of Brahmaputra :: Book
  • Development of road database
  • The inner page story :: Poem
  • Kakching WW-II Memorial Run 2018
  • STDC public meeting at Langathel Keithel
  • Maibi Jagoi at Sangai Fest : Gallery
  • My poll without prejudice to anyone
  • MEETAC - Mission for streamlining TK
  • Conditions leading to Marxism
  • Heart Camp at Khelakhong, Thoubal
  • Cyber bully: Crime that follows you home
  • Bhupen Hazarika : Tribute at London
  • AEP & Importance of Myanmar & NE
  • Political pandemonium
  • Students central to MU issue
  • Landscape from Koubru #2 : Gallery
  • Leishangthem Robert for Mr. World 2018
  • Oinam Shilla Chanu at Mrs India Earth
  • North-east Frontier Of India :: Book
  • Thien & its downfall in Zeliangrong #1
  • Cry of a Dying River - 44 :: Poem
  • JRF Post at Mizoram University
  • Honours to Bamboo; a ubiquitous gift
  • Case of hunter now being huntedr
  • Chaklam Khongchat Numit #3 : Gallery
  • Women Empowerment & judicial Activism
  • Narin Chenggum - wild edible mushroom
  • Flying Star at your lips :: Poem
  • Out of the box thinking
  • Call centre fraud: Vicious vishing attack
  • Changing India & its impact on Manipur
  • MU stand off gets uglier
  • Tikendrajit : The Lion of Manipur #4
  • Krishna Janma @Mahabali #1 : Gallery
  • Eastern Frontier of India :: Book Review
  • Remembering Radhakrishnan ..
  • Moments to cherish :: Poem
  • Glimpse of the Buddha's teaching
  • NH7 Weekender Express Editions
  • Rejoinder to NDPP from NPF [05 Sep]
  • Mental equation
  • Are teachers teaching ? Apt, timely poser
  • Sirarakhong Hathei Phanit @Ukhrul : Gallery
  • Sit-In: Naga Peace Talk #1 : Gallery
  • Globalization, Act East Policy & Manipur
  • Review on anthology of Parthajit Borah
  • Inner Line Permit (ILP) Demand :: Timeline
  • Child Friendly Police Stations proposed
  • ADBU Goes Green with Solar Energy
  • Convocation of Assam Don Bosco
  • Fetal Echocardiography - Seminar held
  • Rejoinder to NPF from NDPP [04 Sep]
  • Divide, divert and rule will not work
  • FA, MU crisis : Issues before LS polls
  • Krishna Janma @ISKCON #1 : Gallery
  • Komrem Student Day @Bangalore : Gallery
  • September Calendar for Year 2018 :: Tools
  • The Coils of Pakhangba :: Book
  • Exhibition @ Art College #2: Gallery
  • AMWJU Sit-In-Protest : Gallery
  • Jangou Rah : eRang Classic
  • The Story of 40 Pineapple Suckers
  • Yumkhaibam Nanao Eramdam Yaourakhre
  • Ningol Chakkouba Celebration in Delhi
  • Martyrdom of Haipou Jadonang #2: Gallery
  • Chaklam Khongchat Numit #2 : Gallery
  • The World of Kuki People :: Book
  • Martyrdom of Haipou Jadonang #1: Gallery
  • Dolaithabi Dam , Senapati : Gallery
  • Eid-Ul-Adhaa Festival #2 : Gallery
  • Dr. Jodhachandra Sanasam : Sahitya
  • Shougrakpam Bijaya :: A Profile
  • Disputed Myanmar Border Pillar : Gallery
  • Dzuko valley #4 :: 360 Panorama View
  • Manglandasu Nang - OST :: e-pao Radio
  • Old Manipuri Movie #1 :: eRang Classic