And thus she became a fast learner

Samarjit Kambam *

For their husband, yeah, for their dearer than life better half, every wife, weed out unfaithful ones, are ready to sacrifice everything for their dearie husbands. Gone too far?

I met my wife during those yonder and carefree days where every day smelt like teen spirit. She was loaded with pristine innocence, spotless, deadbeat(down to earth & caring). She was dreamy eyed and ignorant, unprepared about what life holds in store for her after tying the nuptial knot with me as she proceeds towards the path of her life. She was full of expectations, positive expectations from me and was brimming with hopes – hopes of a bright future, financial growth, kids, a good family as every sane wife would long for.

During those magical years not so long after entering matrimonial life, I was her everything – her guiding light, her shooting star, her source of happiness, her impeccable life partner, someone to live and stick together till the end of time inoblivious of the huge trunk of Pandora’s box I was about to open. Well, she found out that my gentleness, caring attitude, my calmness and placidness were all deceptive.

She also found out that something was not falling in place within me. The main reason was my bad company I was indulging in. Slowly, she found out that her caring and attentive husband had been in a dilemma, pushed to the wall, degenerating day by day in terms of physical health and mental equilibrium. She had gradually found out my true self – once the one who used to whisper sweet nothings in her ears telling her that she is being loved every second of the day has been a monster all the way in the guise of a human.

It is a known fact that a wife knows her beloved husband more than anyone else in the world as she sleeps with her husband on the same bed, sharing the same pillow, spilling out the deepest secrets from their hearts. Once a dreamy-eyed, simple and innocent wife, her stand, rather a firm one has changed dramatically.

Putting her husband i.e. me above everything else, she shared all my joys and sorrows and I am really sorry that I was an incompetent husband, a bad bad one – bad to the core, bad to the bone. So, the “once upon a time’s” starry and dreamy-eyed girl rapidly adapted, evolved at bullet train speed with metamorphic and psychological changes.

As her husband being the top of her priority in the world even many times more than their kids, her change in attitude, mindset and outlook advanced at a dramatic and unprecedented rate. Though innocent and ignorant at one point of time, she climbed the ladder of awareness and vigilance at more than steroid induced rate.

She than changed, from a simple, ordinary woman to a state-of-the-art product. Courtesy to bad husbands, for the wives of every bad husbands climb at rapid strides in terms of many spheres viz, vigilance, awareness, problem solving and elevates themselves to psychological excelism which even Einstein or Stephen Hawkings might envy. My once empty-headed non-blonde has now become an entity – an entity with many cards up her sleeves.

Now she has become, I mean to me, a doctor, a mechanical engineer, a software and hardware expert, a doctor (my physician cum psychologist), a counselor, my confidant, my personal assistant, a financial expert, my advisor, my interlocutor, my protective shield, my cocoon, my everything.

She knows how much I pee in a day, can understand what I am feeling, like a physical and mental tracking machine and sometimes becomes a walking lie-detecting machine. She can find out how damaged my stomach and liver is, knows even my liver’s bilirubin level and GFR & creatinine level of my kidneys, my testosterone & adrenaline level, my BMI indicator, the diets that I have consumed for the day just by looking at my face and even the genre of music I’d listen as per the prevailing mood I was wearing on my face.

She came to me as my wife without knowing anything and now she has leaped miles ahead of me in almost every aspects. I am sure that this happens to every wives of bad husbands – well, bizarre benefits of having a bad husband. And she misses me a lot whenever I come home late. She’d know what I’d consumed for the day or under what influence or how inebriated I was by the way I snore when I sleep or getting restive when I couldn’t get to sleep.

She’d remain awake the whole night, watching me, wondering whether I was dreaming for someone else and would weep silently, tears running down her cheeks from her dreamy pair of eyes to see me with my blackened face when I was sleeping in a full state of purple haze. And when I was in a state of cold turkey, lying like a vegetable on bed, the way she attended to me with ultra care and love would put Florence Nightingale to shame. In fact, she loves me many times more than I love her for action speaks louder than words.

I am just a man, a human being bound to make lots of errors on my journey towards life. Once I chatted in FB Messenger with just a virtual friend of the opposite sex. Even though my intention was to pass away the sleepless nights, she scanned every chats and brought the cell phone COL(crying out loud). She then replaced the SIM with a new one.

Another time, another episode, it was also some simple chats on Whatsapp and she’d come out with all the details inclusive of date and time from the cloud server. My SIM was changed once again. She’s more like a living scanning and anti-virus software. Again, my chat recordings with my bad company would be scanned by her which went on like this:-

#Cold Turkey?
-No, JALP (Just a little depressed).
-U know, my wife, as usual.
#CRH (Caught red handed) ?
-SCTS (Surgical, Clinical & Thorough Search), u know.
#That’s deep shit.
-Yeah! Really a sinking feeling.
#Weren’t you vigilant enough?
-TINA(There is no alternative). She’s watching my every moves.
#World’s Still Yours?
-Just a few days ago, but sleepless nights, next morning the world seemed to kick me out.
#WAN(What about now)?
-Not that high
#Well, what’s the big problem?
-Yesterday night, she caught me alongwith my Gun & Rocket. Caution: “Ears only”.
#Aaw, that terrible news.
-Am in a dilemma
#So, what’s your plan? Join me today or beat her up.
-That’s the last thing in the world I’d do. U know, beating women and children is the most coward thing for a man to do.
#U n ur conscience.
-Call whatever you may, doesn’t make much difference
#What about today?
-Totally purple hazed, feels like Sunday morning. Come tomorrow, its going to be hell.
#Feel pity for U, ma’fren

But she would know everything about the chat, every meaning of every word, just like an omnipotent entity. Sometimes she got me on my nerves for what she had been doing, hovering around like a hawk making me feel like a rat. But it was for a good cause, for a better me being her main aim. In fact, she has re-kindled my life, changed me from a living dead to a human.

Thank thy Heavenly Fingers for creating a wonderful creature for me in the flesh and blood of my wife. Without her unending and tireless efforts, help and care I would long be gone and you would not be reading this article after all.

* Samarjit Kambam wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer can be reached at kambamsamarjit0(AT)gmail(DOT)com
This article was posted on March 25, 2017.

* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.

  • Expedite FA Rally #1 : Gallery
  • Merger & Manipur State Congress #1
  • Cry of a Dying River - 41 :: Poem
  • A recreation park for elderly
  • High-time NE recreate itself as brands
  • Natural skin detox
  • Naga Peace Process :: News Timeline
  • 72nd Independence Day by AR
  • Independence Day - for whom
  • Nongpok Thong Hangba
  • Khubak Eeshei @Kang festival : Gallery
  • Punsi Sangba, Mathiupuang :: eMing
  • Arresting decline of higher education
  • RPL-PMKVY Certificate at Tripura
  • Silence :: Poem
  • AFSPA took my father
  • Dark Net: Underbelly of the internet
  • Alternative Arrangement, Article 371A
  • Petition challenging dilution AFSPA
  • Rio for integration of Naga areas
  • Brought NE closer to Delhi: PM
  • Independence Day celebrated in NE
  • Tikendrajit : The Lion of Manipur #1
  • Compressed Earth Blocks: Housing
  • Support breastfeeding among adolescent
  • Ithai: Development Decision Gone Awry
  • Who made the sports university ours?
  • An Unoccupied Forehead :: Poem
  • 'NRC should not be a political issue'
  • Independence Day : Govt needs trust
  • Apprehensions before final pact
  • NNC stand to protect Naga sovereignty
  • 'Delay in solution irks people'
  • Patriots' Day- Floral Tribute : Gallery
  • A shot at survival
  • Demography and Population Studies
  • RPL-PMKVY Certificate at Baishalgarh
  • E-Commerce to help access new markets
  • Manipur Heart Foundation Anniversary
  • Artist lineup for NH7 Weekender
  • Kakching World War-II Memorial Run
  • The Killing Fields 2013-18 : News Timeline
  • AMPWA observed Patriots' Day
  • Real homage or just showmanship
  • Drama of political clout at MU
  • Patriots' Day @ Kolkata : Gallery
  • Historical War fought by Manipur
  • Where are the nurses in HIV response?
  • Understanding false smut of rice
  • The love song of autumn :: Poem
  • Help Underprivileged Sports Youngsters
  • Police : List of Awardees on I-Day
  • NSCN-IM word on Naga unity
  • Scribes demand colleague's release
  • Jadugi Mingsel :: Folk Tale
  • Patriotism Redefined [On 13th Aug]
  • Karate Winners felicitated at Kumbi
  • Of Citizenship & Manipur People's Bill
  • Seminar : Path & Pattern in Northeast
  • 42nd Indian Social Science Congress
  • Certificate Distribution at Tripura
  • Failure by WPS-IE to arrest rapist
  • Resolutions : People's Democratic Alliance
  • ..Will it burnt the state again
  • ..Now get the killers !
  • 'Homecoming', Painting Exhibition : Gallery
  • Legacy of Resistance in Cordillera Highland
  • Woke Up, But You're Nowhere :: Poem
  • Resurgence of Sanamahism
  • Nagas & Meiteis must live together
  • No change in 1951 as Base Year : JCILPS
  • B. Voc. at DM Community College
  • Young Scholars Conference 2018
  • ..legitimacy of remaining to power
  • The precursor of things to come
  • Khangkhui Cave , Ukhrul #4 : Gallery
  • Kanglen Kang Chingba #2 : Gallery
  • Reform Manipur's Education System
  • Friendship
  • Cry of a Dying River - 40
  • World's Indigenous Peoples Day
  • Chandigarh students' solidarity with MU
  • MU agitator should withdraw their agitation
  • Repercussion of a prejudice attitude
  • Regulate school vans/buses
  • Disputed Myanmar Border Pillar : Gallery
  • Seven Breaths of Dragon :: Book Rvw
  • Chronological framework of NRC
  • Buttering Najmaji in public
  • JRF Post at Mizoram University
  • Manipur Tourism : Festival Promotion Award
  • The uneasy shift
  • Well co-ordinated rallies across dists
  • Chalwa Village, Kangpokpi #1 : Gallery
  • General strike on article 371 (A) #2 : Gallery
  • Up against the saffron brigade
  • My unsailed ship :: Poem
  • Mathematics and Science Competition
  • General Strike by ATSUM on August 10
  • Drawing Competition at Wapokpi, Bishnupur
  • ADBU delivers course to Indian Railways
  • One man that put Manipur in frying pan
  • Relax MU shut down !
  • Khumang Pokpa Haraoba #2: Gallery
  • Robert Naorem @Blr Fashion Week : Gallery
  • Territorial integrity of Manipur
  • The string :: Poem
  • General Strike by KIM on August 8
  • Robert Naorem at Bangalore Fashion Week
  • Inner Line Permit (ILP) Demand :: Timeline
  • Dr. Monisha Behal's work in North East
  • Registrations for IIT Techniche workshop
  • PDA on situation in Nagaland
  • The politics of divide: MU
  • Significance of August
  • Mukna Khong Kangjei #3 : Gallery
  • Greater Nagaland or Mini Nagaland? #2
  • Paint Your City : Campaign at Kakching
  • Pemberton line in Kabaw is our boundary
  • Awakening :: Poem
  • Coffee Plantation : In-lieu of Poppy
  • Recalling of AK Pandey by HRD Ministry
  • TSA's reply to KNO/KNA's allegations
  • 21st Manipur Integrity Day : Gallery
  • Konung Kang Chingba #3 : Gallery
  • Ecological, social impact of Ithai Barrage #3
  • Swindling Manipuris in solving Naga issue
  • The Last of the Romantics :: Poem
  • 'Thoughts on MU strategies'
  • Concerned about continued closure of MU
  • Fear factor
  • No takers for 1 month leave
  • View from Shirui Hills #1 : Gallery
  • Manipur as seen by Meiteis, Nagas, & Zo
  • Certificate Distribution at Nirjuli, ArP
  • Contract Jobs available at NIELIT HQs
  • Cry of a Dying River - 39 :: Poem
  • Banana flower vada
  • Entrance for Free Residential IAS Coaching
  • Resolution of NPF Consultative Meeting
  • Concerned about militants' interference
  • Issues : From ILP, MU to FA
  • Emergence Nongda Lairen Pakhangba #2
  • MU Rally at Canchipur : Gallery
  • News Analysis 0f Akashvani Imphal
  • ILP: A Genuine Idea Lost in Translation
  • Tryst with an Alzheimer's patient #2
  • Letter to Prime Minister of India
  • Female DTP faculty reqd at Protocol
  • In between :: Poem
  • Sowing the seeds of Greater Lim
  • General strike on article 371 (A) #1 : Gallery
  • Student is important or AP Pandey
  • Article 371A is sui generis
  • Protection on Land, Environment at TML
  • Press Conference on MU Crisis at Delhi
  • Oppose extension of Article 371(A)
  • DTP-Desktop Publishing course at Nambol
  • Certificate Distribution at Namsai, ArP
  • Rejoinder to KNO/KNA on Moreh attack
  • Issues which burn Manipur State Assembly
  • The brand of politics in MU crisis
  • Central team @ BP 81 , Kwatha #3 : Gallery
  • August Calendar for Year 2018 :: Tools
  • Protest against MHRD @Delhi : Gallery
  • People's Strike greets this August
  • Slump in fight against #AIDS
  • What does moonlight want ? :: Poem
  • MU students protest against MHRD
  • An Unknown killer - "E-Waste"
  • Talking peace and threatening others
  • Singcha Wuya Won @Kamjong #1 : Gallery
  • Dismal Politics in Universities
  • Kanglen Kang Chingba #1 : Gallery
  • Engulfing Uncertainties
  • Ecological, social impact of Ithai Barrage #2
  • Certificate Distribution at Dibang, ArP
  • EEVFAM case: Report for 30 July
  • Pertaining to statement of T. R. Zeliang
  • Issues plaguing the state
  • What is the stand of BJP Govt ?
  • Monsoon Assembly Session : Gallery
  • Election 2019: end of road for Modi
  • The absurd baby talk :: Poem
  • Assam University BTech, MTech Admission
  • Saving the Rhinos - Campaign
  • Arrest perpetrators of Moreh attack
  • Training programmes of NCC
  • Central team @ BP 81 , Kwatha #2 : Gallery
  • MU: Students clash with Police #2: Gallery
  • Prospects of coffee in Manipur
  • Why ILP should not be implemented
  • Hill students get alert on Trafficking
  • IBSD Meghalaya inaugurated
  • Conference on India-Vietnam
  • Govt's strategically pre planned conflict
  • Heart ruptured but life saved
  • Pseudo intellectuals should stop thinking
  • Mass sit-in protest : How about Nagaland?
  • Folklore genres of Meetei community
  • Kang Khichri chaba : Gallery
  • Binalakshmi Nepram at United Nations, NY
  • Out to clear her name
  • Central team @ BP 81 , Kwatha #1 : Gallery
  • Our Common Crisis: What are We to Do #3
  • Pay Nareckpi : Funga Wari
  • Kayada Ningthijaba Lambino : Story telling
  • Yumkhaibam Nanao: Walking from Delhi..
  • Ningol Pali at Kang Festival : Gallery
  • Eyek Tamba :: Learn Manipuri script
  • Kanglen Kang Chingba : Gallery
  • Front Page Photo 2018 #3: Gallery
  • Art Exhibit @Imphal Art College #1 : Gallery
  • Kang Khichri chaba @Kwakeithel : Gallery
  • Dzuko valley #4 :: 360 Panorama View
  • Manglandasu Nang - OST :: e-pao Radio
  • HSLC 208 Exam Toppers : Gallery
  • Class XII Exam Toppers : Gallery
  • Temples of Manipur : Gallery
  • Old Manipuri Movie #1 :: eRang Classic