TODAY -

To stand up against domestic violence, initiatives need to be taken by women

Melody Koijam *



Women need to change their perspective towards being a wife and a daughter-in-law. They need to step forward for their rights. Only then, we can take precautions and stop continuing to be victims of domestic violence.

It is well known that there are many laws and organisations to check crime against women to avoid domestic violence and this has been an issue that needs to be discussed.

There is no doubt that we are living within a liberal outlook and fast paced globalization, and the whole world is developing based on gender equality (socially, economically and politically). Then here comes the main question-Why are women still victims of domestic violence ?

If we consider our society, it has been nurtured under a patriarchy that tends to be dominated by male members of the family. At one time, only men used to work and earn for the whole family, and womenfolk were to do all the household chores.

But, today, the whole situation has changed. Women have become important members to help both in functioning and financial matters of the family. They, also, have made and kept a respectable social status and identity, unique in itself, for themselves. They are now intellectually and financially sound and stable. They are no more inferior to men in any aspect.

Then, where are the flaws ? Why are there still tortures and harassment being faced by most women ? Is it because of the ego of male members that they always want to maintain their superiority over women ?

Or, that most women are still compromising their role as a good wife and dutiful daughters-in-law ?

We have to know that if we want to be freed from any kind of bondage, whatever it is, we need to first free our mind and have courage to fight back. We don't have to adjust to the whims of others in some situations especially when it comes to our self respect and freedom.

Jeanne McElvaney, an author and a psychic reader, wrote in her book, Spirit Unbroken "You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren't alone".

Being a silent victim of any kind of violence will make your opponent feel stronger and will start abusing and maltreating even more. There's no need to compromise with such ill-treatment and keep tolerating it.

Even, Meena Kandasamy, an Indian poet and activist, said; "sometimes the shame is not the beatings, not the rape. The shaming is in being asked to ask for justice."

Man and woman are both human and an individuals having their own potentials and capabilities. For their existence, they both have their own role, irrespective to who they are and where they belong. The relationship between man and woman must be counted on their contribution to the society and to their family, not by the gender.

It has now become important to understand that life goes on steadily only when there are mutual understandings and respects from both sides of the partners. If there exist any kind of comparison between man and woman, then comes the issue of being superior and inferior.

Most men or husbands compare themselves with their wives, and that, in order to prove their superiority over them, they start abusing and torturing, leading to domestic violence.

The definition of women as fragile and delicate makes men to think women as weak and easily controllable. Here, the biggest drawback is when women keep tolerating and think nothing of becoming victims. Some might blame it on use of alcohol and drugs by the man as being the main cause, but if we consider and analyze deeply, then, it's the mindset of men taking as objects to be blamed for their own mistakes.

While focusing only on the male members we have forgotten that there also exist some typical and conservative women who never try to get out from their old view that women are there only to bear children and work in household.

This concept can lead to persistence of domestic violence in a family, where in-laws try to suppress their daughters-in-law to live under their control. These may be because these womenfolk themselves want their daughters-in-law to follow their way of living.

But, in today's age women have many responsibilities apart from their role as wives and daughters-in-law. They have the right to live for themselves and find their potentials that had always been kept hidden.

So, what women need to understand and acknowledge is to let themselves free from the chain and restraints. Only then they can take the step forward standing against domestic violence. This will not only help them but will give other victims of such violence an inspiration to live with dignity preserving and maintaining their self-esteem and self-respect to a much more greater extent.

It must be known that the voice can only be heard when said aloud to let everyone hear.


* Melody Koijam wrote this article for The Sangai Express
This article was webcasted on July 19 2021.



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